Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come They come
To build a wall between us
You know that they won't win.
Don't let them win
(Crowded House--Don't Dream It's Over)
It wasn't a dream, she was here, she was real and she was in his arms. He could feel the warmth of her skin, pressed to his; feel the thin cotton of her T-shirts and shorts. He could smell the scent of her shampoo coming lightly off her hair. He could even hear Her heart beating, a little too loudly, but that was probably just because she was glad to see him. She was glad, wasn't she? She had to be. He was here, proof that no matter what she did or where she went, he would always love her and always find her.
"My heart and soul, I'm here." He felt her trembling in his arms and reached up, running his fingers through her hair, marveling at the silky feel of it. "Oh God, I've missed you Justine..."
She stopped speaking after that "What the world are you doing-". He was so used to her not speaking around him; it seemed natural. Briefly, he recalled the way she'd been talking to "Brother Aaron" at the school, but quickly dismissed that. "Brother Aaron" wasn't a part of her, of course she had to speak to him, otherwise he'd never understand. Victor was different. She didn't need to speak to him; he understood her, no matter what. She was glad to see him; she too had been waiting for this.
He drew back, still keeping his arms on her shoulders to look at her. "Don't worry," he whispered, wishing he was stronger, wishing he didn't have to use words with her. "I'm here, it's all right. I understand now, you had to test me, you had to make sure I was worthy of you. I'm not upset, I understand you had to do this, but I've proved it. I'm here, I'm with you and I'll never leave you again. I felt torn apart without you. You own a part of my soul Justine, only with you am I whole."
Her brows furrowed and her mouth moved. Was she going to speak to him? What could be so important that she had to use words to tell him. "What is it Justine?" he whispered. "Tell me, beloved. I'm listening."
Her mouth moved, but no sound came out. He rubbed his arms along her shoulders, his fingers reveling in the warmth of her bare skin. I've been dead without her, he thought. "Please, Justine, don't punish me any longer," he begged, his voice cracking. "Talk to me. I know you want to say something, please say it!" Unknowingly, he squeezed her upper arms a bit tighter than he intended.
A small gasp came from her throat and her eyes widened. She jerked backwards; the pain causing her to fall out of the dazed state she'd been in. Folding her arms across her chest she looked at him. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded.
"Logan, have you seen Justine?"
Logan looked away from the TV screen and over at Magnus. "Yeah, saw her 'bout an hour ago. She said she was having trouble sleepin' and was going for a walk." He scratched his head, yawning. "Ain't she back yet?"
Magnus shook his head. "No, she isn't. "
"Well, she's not a little kid. I'm sure she's okay." Logan watched him, trying to suppress and amused smile. Obviously Magnus was worried about the kid, but he wasn't quite sure if he should let on.
"I'm sure you're right."
Logan studied him carefully. Did the expression drop a bit, as if resigning himself? He wants to worry about her, Logan thought. He wants to go out after her, but he wants to make sure this is okay, that it won't look like he's... too concerned about her. "Buuut," Logan began, dragging out the word slowly. "It is a... restless kinda night. I was hopin, one o'these old movies mighta helped put me t'sleep, but it worked on Storm morn' me. A walk might be a good idea, shake the restlessness off." He picked up the TV remote and aimed it at the TV, shutting it off and standing. "Wanna go with me Magnus? You look kinda.. restless yerself. Maybe we'll bump int' Justine."
Now it was Magnus' turn to study Logan. He knows I'm worried and he's giving me the chance to go look for her, without making it look like I'm looking for her. He nodded slowly. "That sounds like a good idea. You're right, it's a ... restless sort of night."
Find yourself another soul to hold
Make no more wishes
You think, you thought, I know
Off upon my journey I must go
To where the river flows
All of my patience has been spent
God of the season
Lead me to my next incident
(Ed Roland--[Collective Soul]--Where The River Flows)
Victor shook his head, not quite believing what he'd just heard. Did she really just ask me what I was doing here? his mind asked of him. Justine wants to know what I'm doing here? He stared at her hard. "Justine, what do you mean, what the hell am Ah doing here?" he asked, repeating her question back to her. "Ah'm here because you're here."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Justine asked, eyes wide with fear, but trying not to tremble. "This isn't your place. This isn't your life, it's mine!"
"Your life is mine!" Victor protested. "Just as my life is yours." He fought back a wave of anger. This wasn't going the way it was supposed to. "Damn it Justine, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Wrong with me?" Justine repeated stupidly. She shook her head, trying to shake away the cloud of fear that enveloped her thoughts, her reasoning. This wasn't suppose to happen to her. Victor Black was part of the other life, the one underground. Those two lives were never suppose to meet up with each other. Who am I now? she thought. Am I Justine or just the girl? "N-nothing is wrong with me."
"Yes there is." His tone was petulant. "You're acting different. Ah don't know what they did to you, but goddamn it, they're gonna pay."
"They didn't do anything to me, except show me I didn't belong in the basement!" Justine said, a flash of anger bolting through the fear. Victor Black might scare her beyond reason, but he would not insult her friends; he would not insult Magnus. "Don't you dare speak against them!"
"Don't be stupid." His voice went from sounding like a whining child back to one of anger. "You were never like this Justine. You never back-talked me. You knew better." His eyes narrowed, studying her. Yes, she looked better physically, but there was something terribly wrong with her. Something he had to fix and fix now. But how? What exactly was wrong with her? He had to figure that out before he'd know what he could do to fix it. Then he remembered the souls inside him. That's it! he thought. No one's been feeding her! That's why she's different! What the fuck do these idiots know of her needs? He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her to him. "It's going to be okay Justine, just trust Vic.. Ah've got what you need." Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her hard, pushing those souls locked inside of him into her, trying to feed her.
Justine's eyelids widened almost painfully as he violated her mouth, his lips bruising hers. No no no no! she thought, trying to shut her mouth. He reached up and grabbed her jaw with his fingers, pressing on the sides, forcing her mouth open. His breath poured into her, hot, heavy and foul. It smelled of beer, cigarettes, and something worse, something...evil. She tried to pull away, but his one arm moved up onto her neck, pinching it. The self defense lessons Logan had given her hadn't prepared her for this. An unknown assailant was one thing; Victor Black was another. God, she silently prayed, if you ever wanted to listen to me, to help me, make him stop. Make him stop!
Weather it was God, or something else, Justine would never know, but he did finally break off the kiss, looking at her with a look she knew she'd seen on his face before, but never understood. His arms shifted, holding her looser now. "Wasn't that wonderful?" he asked her, as if the kiss they'd shared had been one of mutual consent.
"V-Vic ... I-I don't like that," she stammered.
"Yes you do," he disagreed. "You love it, you need it. Four of them this time. More than Ah've ever given you at once." His eyes were half closed as if in rapture. "Don't you feel it Justine? Don't you feel them inside you? Feeding you? Making you whole again?"
"F-feel what?" Justine asked.
"The souls!"
"Souls?" She stared at him. "Souls? Four souls?" Her mind and stomach churned in unison. Part of her knew what he was saying. Not the Justine part, but the Girl part. The creature in the basement knew exactly what he meant.
"Yes, souls you dumb bitch!" Victor's grip tightened around her again. "Damn it Justine, quit acting stupid! Quit acting like you don't know what we're all about. You need souls, Ah get em' and Ah feed em' to ya. That's the way we work."
She shook her head. "No ... no, we don't work that way," she disagreed. "Oh God Victor ... is that what the basement visits were all about? Souls? Giving me souls?" She tried to step back from him, but his arms were still around her.
"You need them Justine." He stared at her, as if his vision could burn into her. "For everything you give, you must take. You game me my life, you take life back."
"No Victor," she whispered hoarsely. "No, it doesn't work like that." She squirmed in his arms. "Oh my god, you've been killing people. Killing them for me. That's what it was all about, all that stuff in the basement.... all those visits..." Her mind raced, trying to make sense of it all. "Vic, it's s-simple. I-I brought you back, that was it. I never asked for anything in return, I didn't need anything in return."
"Yes you did!" he disagreed, his hands slipping up to her arms and holding them tightly, squeezing them with her fingers. "Justine, when you brought me back from the dead, you took part of my soul. You brought me back from Hell Justine. You took me away from my family. We.. merged Justine. We're now a part of each other. You can't escape it, you can't escape me. We belong together." His gaze continued to bore into her. "You and me. First the souls, then the bodies. We're one Justine. Forever and ever. All Ah was, all Ah am, all Ah ever will be is yours."
"No," Justine whispered, her voice sounding far away in her own head. "No, it doesn't work like that. It can't work like that. I brought you back because I'm a mutant and bringing people back from the dead is what I can do. There was no merging of souls Victor. I never touched your soul, I just.. channeled it or something. Our souls never merged. And the bodies? That was rape Victor."
His nostrils flared and his eyes narrowed. "Don't lie to me!" he demanded. "Don't you dare fucking lie to me, bitch!" His hands slipped up to her shoulders, squeezing them painfully. "You loved it Justine. You loved it, and you love me. These people here ... Magnus ... Logan.. they've poisoned you."
"No." She whimpered as his fingers tightened around her shoulders with bruising force. "No, Victor. I was twelve when it all started. God, I barely knew what was happening. One minute I was just a kid, the next I'm being told I'm the anti-Christ and getting locked in the basement. I was loosing my mind. You became the Darkness, the Blackness. It wasn't what you thought; it never was."
Victor's gut lurched and for a brief moment he thought he'd puke, but held it down. "Yer jess saying this shit," he hissed, spraying her face with a fine saliva shower. "You don't mean it Justine. Oh God, don't you dare imply Ah'm crazy. Ah'm not the crazy one. Nobody every thought Ah was crazy, jess you. Ah knew better. Ah was the only one who knew the truth. You knew it too, or you did." He pushed her so she fell backwards, falling on top of her, pinning her to the ground. "They've ruined you Justine." His hands slid up to her neck, wrapping his fingers around it. His thumb rested on her pulse, feeling it pounding. "We had something, you and Ah. We could have ruled the world, but now you had t'go and ruin it."
His fingers were starting to interrupt the flow of air to her lungs and his body felt like it was crushing her. She knew she'd made a terrible mistake. She should have just gone along with him, not pushed him like this. This is all my fault, she thought. When you brought him back, you snapped his mind. All of this, all the death was done in your name. He's right. All he was, all he is, all he ever will be is because of me. I became a mother on that day at the beach and I gave birth to a monster. "Y-you're hurting me," she gasped.
"It's only fair," he retorted. "Yer hurtin' me Justine. Yer saying shit about me. You aren't Justine anymore. You've become someone else. Someone you shouldn't be. And it's gonna end, here, tonight. We're going to merge again, little girl." He ran his thumb down her throat hard, leaving a red mark in its wake. "Yer gonna be mine forever, one way or another. If Ah can't keep you next to me, Ah'll keep you inside of me."
As his fingers pressed into her throat, she again "saw" the plates from the dream in the place behind her eyes. She saw her own lying on the ground, still broken from the other night, cracked right down the middle. She saw Victor's fall from the air, landing on top of it. Both of them shattered into a million pieces. She swallowed, even though it hurt where Victor's thumb pressed against the pit of her throat. He's going to kill me, she thought. He's going to end it right here and now.. and the scary thing is.. I don't mind. I want him to. This shouldn't be. If there is a God, he wasn't doing his job the day I was born. She looked at him, holding his gaze with hers. "Do it Victor," she whispered. "You're right, it always came down to you and me didn't it? For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action. I gave you back your life, you take mine. Fair is fair." She closed her eyes again and waited. In the distance she thought she could hear footsteps in the woods, the occasional snapping of twigs, but it all seemed like a dream. She wasn't afraid any more; this was right, this was real. This was what should have happened years ago. The dream was over; it was time to move on.
He didn't want to absorb her, he much preferred for her to be alive and able to stand next to him, or cower beneath him, but he knew what had to be done. For a moment his hands loosened around her neck and he reached up to stroke her hair. "Ah'm sorry Justine," he whispered, leaning over and kissing her neck. "Ah'm sorry they destroyed you so ... An' they will pay for this ... I promise."
A low voice came from behind Victor. "I don't think so."