"Do you know how much I just LOVE birthdays?" asked Dazzler as she and Psylocke fastened crepe paper and balloons over the doorways and windows of Excalibur's Muir Island base. "I mean they're just so magical and cheerful and..."

"Expensive." sighed Longshot, looking down at the bill from the caterer's. "Did you guys have to order so much food? Bishop Abrams is going to throw a holy shit-fit when he sees this."

Amanda Sefton looked up from the wilderness of wrapping paper and ribbon littering the rec room floor. "No, we didn't HAVE to, but the only other alternative was to let Lorna cook." Amanda reached out for a certain silky, green bow to top off a present. A piercing scream assaulted the ears of the team as Amanda pulled back on the hair of Lorna Dane, Excalibur's newest member. "Ooops..."

"Ooops? OOOPS?!" yelled the mutant code-named Polaris. "I've put up with being called 'Salad Top', 'Algae Hair' and 'Chia Pet' but this is the last straw! I'm going to..."

"Curl up in the back of the fridge?" suggested Holocaust, causing the entire team to titter. They'd found Lorna bunched up in the team's mini-fridge during their short-lived career as day-care baby-sitters. No one, including Lorna, knew how she had gotten there. It was assumed that the fumes from the chewed Zwieback and dirty diapers had temporarily erased her memory.

"No, I..." Lorna stopped trying to reply and simply laughed, her pink cheeks, bright eyes, and green hair making her look quite the picture. Dazzler noticed Longshot staring and zinged a small laser off of his rear.

"Keep your mind on your work, buddy." she warned her lover. "What are you brewing anyway?"

Longshot stopped rubbing his smoking buttocks and turned back the punch bowl. "Dunno. It was a recipe of Tym's. Three quarters Wild-Berry Kool-Aid and one part... well, I don't know what it was. Tym's writing is weird. But the symbols on the bottle matched up." Longshot tasted the red mixture in the bowl in front of him and his eyes crossed.

"Oh, yeah..." Amanda wrestled the last of the gifts into their wrapping and grinned up at 'Shot. "Well, if it's Tym's brew, then it oughta be good."

Longshot gave Mandy a side-ways glance. Considering that her first meeting with Tymwalker had almost resulted in getting herself, Fuzzy, and Tym caught between dimensions, she was awfully fond of him.* *(the prelude to that is in Excalibur Classics #1)

Lorna carried the packages over to the table and arranged them across from the food and the huge birthday cake. She noticed a brief flash of light from outside. She looked outside in time to see two figures drop form a time-arch. "Isn't it almost time for those two to get back?"

"Hey, yeah!!" Longshot leapt up so suddenly that he didn't notice that the punch in front of him was bubbling. It died down within seconds.

"Everyone hide!" Naturally every Excalian dove for the spot behind the couch.

"Everyone hide... someplace else!" groaned Longshot from underneath Holo and Psylocke. Somehow, the entire team managed to find enough furniture to hide themselves behind. They waited...

Fuzzy Elf (Kurt Wagner if you want to be formal) couldn't have calmed down if he'd tried. He was bouncing and teleporting along the narrow paths of Muir like a hyper-active electric-blue March hare. Tymwalker, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his trench coat, walked along behind him at a much more leisurely pace.

"Tym, that was fantasmich! Ungaublich! To actually fight along-side real buccaneers! To cross swords with Bluebeard himself!" Kurt snatched his sword from its scabbard and flourished it wildly. Tym ducked as it whistled through the air where his head had just been.

"Glad ya liked it, kid. Just watch it with the pig-sticker!"

"My apologies." Kurt feinted at his shadow. "And my thanks, mein freund! I don't believe I've ever gotten a more fitting birthday present!"

Tym smirked. 'Just wait.' he thought. Out loud, he just said, "Well, there'll be other birthdays, Fuzz."

"In our profession, how can you be so sure...?" Then he remembered who he was talking to. "Well, I'm sure that they won't be half as thrilling."

"You can bet your blue butt on that." muttered Tymwalker, wondering if maybe he should sleep outside for the next few nights. After all, if it had happened in 46 out of 51 time-lines then maybe he should warn...

"Was?" asked Kurt, turning to Tym.

"Nuttin'." remarked the Chronal One, punching his personal code into the keypad by the front door. The door opened and Tym shoved Fuzzy inside.

"SURPRISE!" yelled their assorted team-mates enthusiastically.

Fuzzy jumped ten feet in the air and wound up wrapped around a light fixture. Once he realized what was going on, he looked down and fixed an accusing glare on Tym's face.

"Yeah, like I didn't see this coming." grinned Tymwalker. "Happy Natal Anniversary. Where's the food?"

"You hog!" snapped Lorna as Kurt leapt off of the ceiling. "Can't you at least wait until Fuzzy's done unwrapping his presents?"

"Nope." Tym let the team think what they wanted as far as his motivations towards the buffet were concerned. He paused in front of the punch bowl and looked down at the contents.

'Whew!' he thought. 'It's red!' An unusual, but safe color for this concoction. So the final count was 46 out of 52 alternate time-line Excaliburs had been wiped out by lethal Brown Kool Aid. Satisfied that no one was in immediate danger, Tym went back towards the rest of the group to spy on Fuzzy's loot.

"C'mon, Fuzzy! We wanna eat this thing already." exclaimed Longshot as Kurt prepared to blow out the candles on his cake.

"Sure you don't want some, Betsy?" asked Dazzler, in line with her plate like most of the team.

"Sheyeah, right. As if I'd eat of a cake that someone else had already blown and spit all over." replied the purple haired ninja, who had already settled herself by the BBQ'd chicken wings.

"Wish for world peace." suggested Holo.

"'Perhaps one of you would like to do this?' he suggested with a hint of annoyance." said Fuzzy. "Are you sure that cake is supposed to have that many candles, Liebchen?"

"Positive." grinned Amanda, setting the last one aflame.

"It looks like a fire hazard!" he said with a weak smile.

"And you're just afraid of getting old." chuckled Mandy. "C'mon, Blue-boy! Let's see you blow these out!"

"As you wish." Kurt blew. To the surprise of his friends, he got all of the candles in one attempt.

"Not bad." remarked Longshot. "Who wants cake?" As the cake was passed out, Amanda leaned over, opened her mouth, and restrained herself at the last second, toning her plan down to planting an innocent kiss on the birthday boy's ear.

"Happy birthday, Kurt." she whispered. "What did you wish for?"

"I can't tell you that, 'Manda." he muttered back. "Or it won't come true." The look on his face made Amanda very uncomfortable... or very needy, which was pretty much the same thing for her. She gave him a shaky smile and walked over to the other side of the room to compose herself.

Amanda had been with the team for a little over two months now, and her feelings for her childhood friend were driving her absolutely nuts. It was obvious that Kurt wasn't involved with anyone. Fact was, he seemed quite lonely sometimes. And they weren't avoiding each other either. Just the opposite, they were usually quite comfortable around each other. But Amanda just wasn't sure where they stood as far as their relationship went. It bothered her not to know how Fuzzy felt about it, because all she wanted to do was jump Kurt's bones. That in itself presented Amanda with another dilemma. She didn't normally want anyone and to her it felt like a loss of control.

Amanda sighed, crossed her arms and legs, and just kept an eye on the festivities. Odds were, she'd simply jump head first into a cold shower when it was all over.

Fuzzy glanced away from his conversation with Holocaust and Psylocke. He turned around and waved Amanda over from her position on the wall.

"And just what are you doing over there," he asked, "when everyone else is over here?"

"Just enjoying the view." Amanda said, giving him a teasing grin. She breezed over and tossed an odd look at the top of his head. "You really feel like wearing that?" she asked, pointing to the cone-shaped party hat on the top of his head.

"Not really, but if I don't, my life is forfeit to young Shatterstar over there." The young child was sound asleep in Dazzler's arms, his face smeared liberally with frosting. Amanda laughed easily and Fuzzy smiled with her. He'd truly missed his friend and sweet-heart and felt a slight pang that he hadn't been able to be a friend... or maybe more... to her as she developed from the sweet, spindly girl he recalled to this beautiful, guarded woman he was just getting to know. Maybe he should attempt to make up for lost time...

Amanda turned to trade verbal jabs with Longshot. She flipped her thick hair over one shoulder in a careless, sensual motion. Fuzzy suffered a pang of self-doubt. She was a spectacular woman, who could hold her own in any situation. He was a ex-circus performer and a mutant whose appearance alone had nearly earned him a slow painful death, escaped only by pure chance. Friends or not, what would she see in him?

'Now stop that!' he rebuked himself. 'It's your birthday, so try to make the most of it!' Determined to enjoy himself if it killed him, Fuzzy 'ported over to the punch bowl and sampled. It was surprisingly good. And it didn't taste as if it had been spiked, which was a surprise, for everyone was starting to act a bit unrestrained.

Amanda grinned as Lorna popped a fast record onto the turntable. God, records! How positively archaic. It was probably for Tym. Amanda's bemused expression faded away as Lorna pulled Fuzzy out onto the floor and began to dance with him. Jealous for no good reason at all, Amanda grabbed Tym's arm and dragged the bored-looking Tymwalker out where everyone could see.

"Not again." sighed Tym, simply waiting for this to be over.

Several hours later, a Tymwalker regained consciousness and noticed that after he'd been conked with the bowl of bean-dip, things had progressed just as he'd known they would. The food-fight, pillow-wars, and 'Kill the men' ceremony had come and gone, and now it seemed as if the gang was just in the middle of a free-for-all. Which meant it was time for Tym to act as the designated adult and put an end to all of this so things could get back on course. At this point though, not much could have gotten the attention of the kids, so Tym did the only logical (not to mention bastardly fun!) thing he could. He turned the fire-hose on the lot of them.

B A M F !

"*cough* Ach... you OK, 'Manda?" asked Kurt as they reappeared in his room, both sopping wet and covered in feathers and bits of food.

Amanda grinned slightly and wrung out her hair. "Yeah. Nothing bruised except my pride... and my legs... and my back." Both of them chuckled.

"If you need to get cleaned up, my bathroom is at your disposal." offered Kurt gallantly. He was rewarded with another one of Amanda's smiles.

"Thanks, that's sweet of you." She retreated to the bathroom and shut the door. Kurt sighed. That cinched it. There couldn't be anything there but friendly feelings if she was so at ease about this whole thing.

As she ran a hot bath, Amanda sighed and peeled off her leather bodysuit. This proved it. She knew that she wasn't totally unattractive and if Kurt could be so detached about having her nude less than 50 paces away, it had to mean he wasn't interested. He probably still thought of her as his kid sister or something. Feeling disappointed with the whole night, Amanda sank into the tub and let the warm water close over everything from the neck down.

When she had finally soaked and scrubbed herself back into good humor, Amanda emerged, drained and rinsed the tub, and borrowed one of Kurt's navy blue robes from the pegs to the left of the tub, and was about to exit when something on the edge of the sink caught her eye. It was a small paper cup filled with that Red Kool-Aid punch from the party. The words "Drink Me" were written on the side in red marker. Smiling at Fuzzy's sense of humor, Mandy quaffed the drink and walked out.

"She's all yours, Fuzz." she informed him.

"Danke." The usual 'bamf' of teleportation marked his exit. Amanda was starting to feel rather strange.

'Maybe,' she thought, 'I should go to my room and sleep it off.' Instead, she seated herself on one side of Kurt's bed. She didn't know what she was planning, but it probably wouldn't hurt to follow it through.

Fuzzy showered quickly. It was getting late and there was an adventure movie on that night that he wanted to watch. Once he was done with the shower, he dried off (a process that almost took longer than the shower thanks to his fur) and threw on a robe. He was brushing his teeth when he noticed a small paper cup filled with beverage from his party sitting on the edge of his sink. The words "Drink Me" were stenciled around the cup in blue crayon.

'Amanda always was a little tease.' he thought as he drained the cup. 'Nice to know that some things are constant. At least this time she's not tying my tail to anything.' He exited the bathroom, and was surprised to see Amanda sitting on his bed, struggling to pull the snarls out of her hair with a comb.

"Hi, Fuzzy." she smiled as if there were nothing unusual about the situation.

"Um... hi..." Amanda gave another vicious tug to the comb. "Here, let me handle that before you scalp yourself." offered Kurt, just to have something to be doing. Within a minute or two, he was running the comb smoothly through Amanda's hair while the woman herself leaned comfortably against his chest. A few more minutes of attention and her hair was sliding through his hands like strands of silk, and Kurt was thoroughly focused on the feeling of her hair and the clean scent of her body. It would have been merely pleasant under other circumstances, but something seemed to be intensifying every sensation. He was acutely aware of her as a woman... more so than usual. Before, he could have put such thoughts out of his head with some activity, though they would always pop up again. Now, that was impossible. All he could do was rake that comb through her hair and hope that she left before he went mad.

Amanda was concentrating on the warmth of Fuzzy's body through the robe and the occasional brush of his fingers against her neck or cheek. She felt hot. She wanted to disrobe and pull him against her bare body and... No.

That wasn't what he wanted. But truly, had she given him a chance? Maybe...

She turned her head slightly and aimed a kiss for her friend's lips. Kurt saw it coming. Her gesture caught him off guard and Kurt's reflexes were faster. He jerked back... and cursed himself for an idiot a second later.

Amanda seemed sadly amused. "I grew up that hideous, huh?"

"Hardly." he moved closer to her again. "Amanda, I think you'd best leave." Now she seemed truly upset. "Any reason why?"

"Because beautiful women have been successfully arousing men since day one. And you aren't breaking that tradition."

"What if that's what I'm trying to do?" she asked, moving a little closer. There wasn't much space left between them at this point. "Kurt, ever since I decided to join this mad-house, I've been trying to figure out exactly where I stand as far as my feelings for you go..."

"And what have you decided?"

"I'm still stumped. But I know what I want to do with you right now. If you have a problem with it, I'll leave, but..." She moved quicker this time and caught his lips in a full kiss. Kurt didn't move back. His tongue and lips encouraged her without words. Amanda pressed right up against him and undid the strip of cloth holding her robe closed, baring breasts, stomach and torso. If Amanda's eyes had been open, she would have been treated to the sight of Kurt's eyes becoming perfectly round yellow disks against his dark blue skin. Reluctantly, Fuzzy broke off the kiss and stared her in the face.

"Are you certain that this is what you want?" he asked.

"Don't you?" Mandy asked, automatically avoiding his question.

"That's not what I asked."

"Of course I'm certain. Why?"

He seemed to have trouble finding the words. "This could change things between us... maybe not for the better. I wouldn't want to alienate you, just as we've found each other again." He didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't for her to grab one of his pillows and bop him on the head.

"By the Creator's Blood, Kurt!" she said, half-way between being annoyed and being amused. "You haven't changed a bit. You're trying to take this entire thing on your shoulders, including the responsibility for hasn't and might not happen. Lighten up. I'm instigating it, I'm on the mystic version of the pill, I'm in my right mind, I'm sure I want to have sex, and I'm sure I want to have it with you. And what happens afterwards happens, OK?" She paused. "Or is this because you don't want to?"

"Gott! What a thing to ask!" he laughed. In the next second, he'd wrapped her in an embrace close enough for Amanda to smell the barest hint of brimstone that always clung to his fur for a while after a teleport. "You," he murmured, kissing her neck, "are an enchanting, *kiss* captivating woman. How can you even think *kiss* I wouldn't want to make love to you?"

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Amanda replied, fiddling with the drawstring of his robe. "I thought you might still think of me as your kid sister or something."

"No, I haven't thought of you like that in quite a while." he said softly, stroking one hand down her body. Though his voice was light, a cloud passed across his face. It was there and gone and Amanda thought nothing more about it. She was concentrating on the soft, velvety fur gliding across her skin as their bodies met... and then yelped in surprise as something moved up the valley between her breasts. Kurt's tail poked up between them and tapped her on the nose with its point.

"I'd forgotten about that." she smiled giving the triangular end a gentle nip and letting her robe fall away completely. Still smiling, she moved one of her hands from his waist and gripped his hard penis. His loud moan of pleasure against her skin thrilled her. It had been so long since she'd been with someone and none of those had been much more than one night stands. Amanda had a rough time trusting anyone and that ultimately drove most men... hell, most people... away. But she trusted Kurt. Everything would be fine, she could feel it.

Fuzzy's grip on Amanda's body tightened as her competent fingers began to stroke his manhood. He panted slightly and drew her closer, pressing her to his chest. Amanda's firm nipples refused to yield against the tight muscles of his body. Kurt gave her a slight nudge backwards, the gesture almost a question. Amanda smiled at him, gave his penis another squeeze, and lay back. She didn't want to talk, feeling that any words could only shatter the anticipation that was fluttering in her chest (among other areas).

Kurt leaned forward and gave her another kiss. Amanda didn't close her eyes this time. After his lips released hers, they began to quest further down her body, searching for her sensitive spots. Fuzzy was surprised to hear a loud gasp of pleasure as his fangs gently brushed her throat.

Switching to simple kisses didn't still Amanda's sudden surge of pleasure. Eager to please as to be pleasured, he spent another few moments nuzzling and kissing her neck and throat, reveling in her ecstatic shudders and low moans.

Kurt went from hands and knees at her side to the same position straddling Amanda... and got a surprise as she surged up under him. When movement stopped, he was on his back under her. He started to say something, but Sefton lay a finger on his lips and ran her nails down his body, and guided him into her. She began to lift herself up and down, bringing more of him into her. She'd found a satisfying angle and she knew that this could be wonderful, but she kept a watch on Fuzzy's face. She didn't take this seat often, usually preferring to let the guy do the majority of the work, and she felt... well, maybe a little out of practice in this position. She wanted this to be wonderful for him too.

Amanda needn't have worried. Kurt reached up and grasped her hips and thrust up in a bucking motion. Amanda nearly lost her seat and she had to laugh. Kurt's hands had been the only things that had kept her in place.

She came down harder and picked up the pace, feeling him move upward to match her strokes in a synchronized rhythm. With every thrust Amanda felt herself slipping closer into her orgasm until a final upward shove tilted her into it. She cried out and dug her fingers into the skin and fur of his thighs. Kurt felt Amanda stiffen above him. He gasped as that brought on his own teeth-clenching climax. He didn't notice that his fingers had dug into whatever was available either until Amanda came down out of her own pleasurable reverie and made a little mewl of pain. He saw that his hands were locked tightly around her hips. Fuzzy released her and saw the red marks that would be bruises by morning.

"Oh, Jemaine..." he whispered, mortified. "I'm sorry." "It's nothing." she replied, slightly out of breath, as she slowly pulled herself off of him. "See?" A few words he didn't quite catch passed her lips and she smoothed her hands over the injured areas. The marks vanished.

"All better." She pulled back the covers and slid underneath. He joined her and slid an arm around her waist. Suddenly, her head jerked up. "What did you just call me?"

"Jemaine." he said in slight confusion. "That's your name... or do you prefer Amanda now?"

She smiled weakly. "Oh, yeah. I remember now. Just... call me Amanda." She briefly mused with the idea of going to wash off again, but felt too content to do more than that. She snuggled back down against his warm body.

They were fast asleep in minutes.

Amanda lay curled up in Fuzzy's arms, basking in the drowsy warmth of his affection and her own sense of satisfaction. Last night had been terrific. It hadn't just been the sex, though that had certainly been enjoyable. It was the feeling of being loved.

Fuzzy awoke as Amanda stirred in his arms. She was curled right up next to him, and he was about two inches away from falling off of the mattress. This bed simply wasn't sized for two people. Amanda took a deep breath and started to sit up. Kurt kept one arm protectively around her.

"Please don't leave. It's early yet." he muttered. "Stay with me." She looked a little surprised, but cuddled back down without a murmur and pulled one of his hands to her breast. He nuzzled the nape of her neck and stroked her inner thigh with his tail. She squirmed slightly at the tickle.

"Kurt?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Tell me about Cerise."

Fuzzy's eyes opened very quickly. "Was?" He hadn't expected that question.

"How did you two meet? What's she like?"

"I'll tell you, of course, but why the sudden interest?"

"Chalk it up to idle curiosity."

"All right... She's an alien Amazon, I guess you know that much. We met perhaps four years ago. Maybe five. Her spaceship crashed not far from where the circus was performing, but she had fled the wreckage by the time the flames died down enough to investigate. She followed us at a distance for nearly two days. I think the only thing that finally made her show herself to us was an unsatisfied curiosity. After some discussion with the ringmaster, she joined the troop, replacing the strongman's act."

Amanda laughed. "How did old Karnin feel about that?" she asked, referring to the strongman that she had known before leaving the circus.

"He didn't feel anything. He died the spring before she arrived."

Amanda's silence was more respectful that shocked. People died, she just hadn't expected to hear those words. Kurt went on.

"Cerise seemed like an innocent child much of the time. She was curious about everything and our culture was totally alien to her. But she was very much a woman, an exotic, attractive, if rather intimidating one. Any man in the circus would have given his left eye to have her company, but she chose me." A soft sort of pride came into his voice at the memory. "As time went on, that friendship developed into... into love.

"But it didn't last. Cerise had been on the run from the Shi'ar Empire for months when she crashed. She stood accused of murdering her shipmates. Cerise had confided in me about her crimes. She had done what she had to avenge the murders of thousands of sentient beings by the Shi'ar and to prevent the slaying of thousands more. We'd also discussed what to do if the Shi'ar tracked her to Earth. I... I had to stand by and do nothing as they took her away. If it had been just the two of us, running or fighting might have been worth the risk, though it might have meant our deaths. But the Shi'ar had more than enough weaponry at their disposal to reduce the entire circus to ashes. So I lost her. It was so sudden, I didn't even get a chance to kiss her one last time..."

Amanda shifted slightly against Fuzzy's body, bringing him out of his bittersweet reverie. "So why didn't you go back with her when she appeared in the pub?*" (*between the scenes snippet from Excalibur Classic #1)

"It's hardly polite to walk out on an old friend, now is it?" Fuzzy asked with a strained grin.

"Kurt, I'm serious."

"I almost did." he admitted, stroking her hair absent-mindedly. "But though she was no longer a prisoner, she was an aide of Lilandra. She'd sworn an oath of loyalty to the Empire. For life. She could no longer have stayed on Earth, even if she had wished to. And I wasn't going to live in the Shi'ar Empire. It was still a hard choice."

Amanda wrapped her arms round Kurt and lay her head on his chest. "I suppose it would be..." She hadn't been quite sure how she would react, and what she felt surprised her. No jealousy, just protectiveness. Losing someone that you loved, be it to death or anything else, seems to open up a hole in your heart. Amanda felt as if holding Fuzzy close to her might soothe over any pain left from those encounters. For his part, Kurt didn't discourage the attention.

"So," he started, "you know of my sordid little affair..."

"Don't make fun of yourself like that." Amanda chided gently, tapping the end of his nose with her forefinger. "You never would take yourself seriously."

"And you," countered Fuzzy, "were always serious enough for the both of us and..." His voice trailed off.

"And Stefan too." Amanda smiled. Her facial expression changed to one of slight unease as her new-found lover went rigid in her arms. "Hey, what's wrong?"

No reply beyond his rolling over and leaving her to face his back.

"Fuz... Kurt? Please?" Comprehension dawned. "Something happened to Stefan."

"Yes." His voice was that of someone doing their best to disengage from a painful situation and failing.

"Well, is he OK? What happened?" Amanda felt her panic rise as her stomach twisted into a hard knot. As she was wont to do, Amanda feared the worst. Stefan might have been a smug bastard at times, but he was still her brother.

Beside her, Kurt braced himself mentally. He was going to tell her the truth, of course, but he was cursing himself inside. Why hadn't he told her sooner? For Gott's sake, why hadn't he told her before last night! Now Amanda was going to be hurt, and he was going to be tenfold more responsible for her pain than he would have been had he simply admitted the truth earlier. Without excuse, without more explanation, the words came.

"He's dead, Amanda." Kurt wanted to stop right there and be the one comfort her for the grief that she would go though, but that would have been a cowardly, cruel action. "I killed him." Amanda jerked her arms and body away from him as though he had developed a poisonous touch. She shook her head once, not trusting her ears. Not wanting to. She couldn't have heard him right!

"What did you say?" she asked in a disbelieving whisper.

"I killed him." Kurt scraped up the last remnants of his hope and turned around to face her. Maybe he could make her understand. "He asked me to. When we were children, he made me swear to kill him should he ever turn to evil. I couldn't have betrayed that, Amanda. He was my brother as much as he was yours."

Amanda turned away from him, the sudden swell of mixed emotions blocking the pain in his voice from her ears as her tears kept his pain-streaked face from her sight. In that moment, Kurt knew what it would have felt like to have had those villagers* plunge a stake into his heart... except he wouldn't have possibly been alive to feel more than that first stab of pain. (*see Fuzzy Elf #1/2)

Amanda sat up slowly, swinging between extremes of grief and anger.

"What happened, Nightcrawler?" she asked, struggling to keep herself under control... and failing. "The *human* competition get to be too much for you?" Yes, it was cruel. It was supposed to be. How could he have kept this from her?!

Kurt looked up as if struck. "Don't." he snapped. "Just... don't. I won't blame you for hating me, but don't you dare mock me. If I could have died to save Stefan's life or free myself from that vow, I would have!"

"Bullshit." Amanda snarled, looking directly at him. She immediately wished that she hadn't. Only a blind person could have missed the agony slashed across his face. Amanda wanted to take a knife to her wretched tongue at that moment. "I'm sorry." she whispered uselessly and cast a teleportation spell. Amanda in her own room. She threw herself on her own bed, which was still as neat as it had been the day before. No love-making had rumpled these covers. The young sorceress' tears came back to sting her eyes only seconds before she broke down and sobbed. A good while before she ran out of tears, Amanda fell into an unrestful slumber.

Amanda woke up maybe two hours later. Her eyes were burning, her nose stopped up, and she felt more than a little loggy. Then her mind refocused and she remembered how she had reacted and why.

'Idiot!' she thought despairingly, thumping her mattress with a fist. 'Stupid, stupid bitch! Stefan's dead and you can't change that. So what do you do? You strike out at the only family that can still stand you!

'Creator, Kurt was hurting as much as I was... no, more. I wasn't the one who had to kill my own brother. Who has he had to help him get through that, huh?' Amanda's internal brow-beating trailed of as she realized she honestly didn't know. How long ago had it been since Stefan had died? Months? Years? She hadn't let Kurt explain the circumstances. 'If I had an ounce of decency, I'd tell him... Tell him what?' The words rolled into her mind before she could think about it. 'I love Kurt.' Amanda snarled into her pillow. That couldn't be right. She'd had so many extreme emotional swings in the last twelve hours that she didn't know what she was thinking of. No matter the circumstances, Kurt had murdered Stefan! How could she love him?

But her mind refused to dismiss it so quickly, and came back to pick at those three little words. "I don't love him!" Amanda growled to the still air in the room. "I don't, I don't..." Her mind trailed back to the night before and to all the nights that she had lain awake since she'd joined. Entire nights devoted just to thinking about Fuzzy. "I... do." Love. Supposedly the apex of emotions. And she felt it for someone.

Amanda's eyes closed as tears threatened again. She'd blown it. She'd been too stupid to even realize her own heart until everything was wrecked. Amanda sat up and rubbed her eyes. Damned if she was going to let this just die.

Her feet carried her to her closet first. As she pulled on a sweater and jeans, she decided that if she was going to be a totally heartless screw-up, she'd at least admit it and find out exactly what had happened. She stepped out into the corridors of the Muir Island complex, determined to walk up to Kurt and... well, she didn't exactly know. But necessity is the mother of invention, and Amanda really needed to find the words to explain herself to Kurt.

Fuzzy Elf sat at the edge of one of Muir Isle's many cliffs, looking out over the ocean. The mid-morning sun sent darts of light across the water and the view was truly spectacular. He couldn't have cared less.

In his mind, Kurt knew that Stefan would have been grateful to him for keeping his promise and that there had been no other way to stop Stefan from his murders. His heart told him that he had committed a heinous and unforgivable act. Stefan had saved Kurt's life more than once, and the way that Kurt had rewarded his foster-brother's devotion had been to kill him.

Stefan was only a few months dead and the wound that it had left on Kurt's heart and soul had just been starting to heal. Now it had been ripped open and there was a new shame. He had not tried to shove Stefan's death from his mind. Kurt didn't feel that he ever deserved to have that pain lessened. His brother's death had haunted his dreams and his waking hours.

'So how,' Kurt demanded of himself, 'could I have used Amanda like that, and not even think what finding out about Stefan's death would do to her?

Did I intend to keep it from her forever?' Kurt shook his head disgustedly.

"Or perhaps it slipped my mind." he muttered aloud. "'By the way, liebchen, now that we've slept together, I think you should know that I killed our brother.'" A hand lay itself on his shoulder. Kurt barely acknowledged it, but turned to face company that he really didn't want. Perhaps Lorna or whoever it was would understand that he'd really rather be alone with his self-loathing.

It was Amanda. Her red-rimmed eyes met his own, and he had to force himself to keep her gaze.

"Yes?"

"H-how did it happen?" she asked. Her voice trembled, but it was hardly above a whisper. Kurt gave her a slightly surprised look, but began to speak. She had a right to know.

"A larger circus eventually brought out Der Jamarkt. Their plans included moving one two-toed, blue-skinned trapeze artist from the center ring to the freak show. I had no intention of tossing away my training in that manner, so I left.

"Stefan had ditched the circus life some weeks before, though he never gave any of us any reason for it, not even Mother. But he did leave us a vague description of where he'd be, and so I set out to find him. I tracked him all the way to Winzeldorf. You remember that place, don't you?"

Amanda nodded slowly and sat down a couple of paces away from Kurt. "That's that puny little village that we'd pass through once every two years or so, isn't it?"

"One and the same. The entire community was in a state of panic when I arrived, though I wasn't the cause. Someone had been killing children, but there was never anything at the scene of the crime to determine who. Some had been stabbed, some smothered or drowned... one had been literally torn to pieces." Now Kurt's voice was starting to crack, and he couldn't keep Amanda's gaze. "I knew it was Stefan. I can't tell you how, but I knew. I resolved to stop him... to help him, if I could; to kill him if I had to.

"I caught him in the act only two nights after I arrived. The child had managed to partially twist out of Stefan's grasp and was screaming for help. Stefan simply slit his throat before anyone could arrive... then I showed up. Stefan ran up to me and hugged me, still covered with that child's blood. He told me how he'd been slaying monsters for almost two weeks without pause and then I knew that he'd gone totally mad, without even a clue as to what had brought him to that state. I tried to take his knife away from him and calm him down. I really didn't know what I intended to do at that point. The circus had already left Europe, so there was no going for help there. And the village was ready to dispense it's own justice. I knew what I had sworn, but couldn't go through with it.

"In the end, it didn't matter. While we were struggling, my tail wound up wrapped around Stefan's neck. He just stared at me when I finally managed to wrest the knife from him, as if he had finally realized what was going on. Then he grabbed my tail, reminded me of my vow... and snapped his own neck, using my tail as a rope. I wanted to die."

Amanda's vision was blurred again, this time by tears of shame for her earlier behavior. If she'd only listened long enough to let him speak before... Unable to speak, she found Kurt's hand and held it tightly in her own.

"I almost got my wish." he went on. "The good people of Winzeldorf arrived not long after. I suppose I can't blame them for their assumptions. I wasn't two yards away from the body of a slain child and cradling Stefan's carcass. A bloody knife with my fur on the hilt and blade was right next to me. I wound up running for my life from the lot of them. I was tired from my fight with Stefan and not truly caring much if I lived or died at that point. They cornered my around dawn. I finally stood my ground and fought... and lost. If Longshot, Dazzler, and Tymwalker hadn't shown up when they had,* I'd probably be a trophy on someone's wall right now. (* see Fuzzy Elf #1/2 again!)

"And that's all there is to it, Amanda. If I hadn't been there, if I wasn't such a misshapen freak, Stefan would still be alive." "And more children might have died." Amanda murmured. "It wasn't your fault, Kurt."

"Forgive me, Amanda, but that's easy to say from where you are."

"Maybe." she agreed. "And maybe nothing I can do can change your mind about Stefan's death being your fault. Like I said, you always try to take responsibility for everything that happens." She trembled slightly. Apologies, even for something as important as this, had never come to Amanda with any sort of ease. The words tumbled out over each other in a rush. "I-I came out here to tell you something. This morning... when you told me what had happened, I flew off the handle and lashed out before you could explain things to me. You didn't deserve that and... and... damn it, Kurt, I'm just so ashamed and sorry!" Half expecting to be pushed away, Amanda wrapped Kurt up in a tight hug. "I was so wrong to do that to you..." If Amanda's arms hadn't been holding him up, Nightcrawler would have fallen over.

"I thought you hated me." His emotional state was bordering on mild shock. "After what I did... to you and to Stefan... I didn't think you would ever want to see my face again." He managed to collect his wits to the point where he could put his arms around her.

"I wanted to... but I guess love always lasts longer than hate."

"Didn't mother say that..." Fuzzy paused in shock. "Wha...what did you mean by that?"

"I finally got un-stumped. I love you."

"I don't think my heart can take this." Kurt could feel an idiotic grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. It seemed impossible that he could have been in the deepest of emotional pits not an hour ago. He could hardly believe what was going on. He'd waited a very long time to tell the woman in front of him these words, and hadn't even known it for a very long time.

"I love you, too. I always will."

"Kurt."

"Yes?"

"Kiss me." No further encouragement was needed.

Nightcrawler and Amanda came in just in time to join most of the team for lunch. They got more than a few concerned looks. Amanda's eyes were still red and swollen, her face had drying tear-tracks on it, Kurt was in the best mood any of them had ever seen before, and both of them were grinning like fools and spent long periods of time staring into each others eyes.

And they seemed to have narrowed their vocabularies significantly.

"Hey, Mandy." Holo asked. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine."

"How about you Fuzz?"

"Fine."

"Not for long." Dazzler grinned evilly. "It's my turn to cook. Liver and wheat germ for all tonight." Everyone (with two exceptions) groaned. Alison had been on a health kick for some time.

"That's fine." answered Fuzzy and Mandy, entwining their fingers.

"Mandy," said Longshot, putting the head bitch to the ultimate test. "Bishop Abrams wants to father your children."

"Fine." Well, that's what it was supposed to be. It came out as "Fmph." Having an extra tongue in your mouth does that.

While the rest of the team worried and talked over the possibilities of mental illnesses, Tymwalker sat on the couch, ate Skittles, drew pictures in blue crayon and red marker, and didn't say a blessed thing.

The End