They missed a spot to her left. Kyler wondered if the X-men used this method for checking the floor. It was effective. In the week that she had been training with Logan, she had already found five areas that could have used more wax. She was getting better though. Now, she only spent half her time on her bottom. The first few days she was hugging the floor like a long lost friend.

"You getting up sometime today, darlin'?" Logan stood over her waiting for her reply.

The amusement in his voice was thick. He must really be enjoying this. She couldn't contain the groan from escaping her lips as she stood up. "Would you kindly remind me why I wanted to do this again? It is getting harder to remember with each fanny bounce."

"You told me you wanted to be able to protect yourself. Since you already know the basics I'm guessing there's something more." He signaled for her to sit again. She looked at the floor with resignation and sat. He sat down beside with his legs bent hands resting on his knees.

"You know, I am more intimately aquatinted with the floor than any person has a right to be." She had the bruises to prove it.

"Sloppy work. You haven't been concentrating today. What's running around in that head of yours?" The tone was causal but she could hear the underlining concern.

"Too many things to mention but thanks for asking." She was grateful he was concerned enough to ask. Maybe a friendship was budding between them.

She never realized how lonely her life was until she came here. She envied what they had here. The bonds of family were strong among the X-men. When did she stop wanting that for herself?

"You're flying away again." The low words startled her back to attention. "I ain't Ann Landers but I've got the best hearing for miles around."

She smiled briefly before turning serious. "Do you want the entire list of worries or just the top ten?"

"That many?" She nodded in response and began playing with the laces on her tennis shoes. "Well then, start at the top and work your way down."

"Sinister is on the top of the list. I mean, we haven't found him yet and it has been three weeks. How do I fit in his plans? Why did he choose to turn my life upside down? Granted it wasn't much of a life but it was mine. I can't stay here forever. My savings account isn't going to hold me much longer. I need to get back to work."

"We will find Sinister. Slime like him always turn up sooner or later. You'll get your answers. It's gonna take some time."

She burst out laughing. "You're telling me to be patient. I thought you were the charge in, rip 'em up and ask questions later type."

"It's simpler. I can't do that though if I don't know where to look." He stood up offering her his hand. "Come on, I need a smoke." He pulled her up when she took his hand.

Each walked in silence as they left the Danger Room and headed outside the mansion. Kyler followed him as he lead her further away from the mansion into a clump of trees near the estate's north border. He finally stopped leaned back on a tree and pulled a cigar out of his boot.

"Isn't that a tad disgusting?"

He lit his smoke and drew in a satisfying lungful. He saw her wrinkle her nose as the pungent odor fills the air. "This clearing is a descent size. I suggest you go sit on that stump over there."

"I was talking about how you had it in your boot." She headed toward the stump opposite him in the natural clearing he had brought them to. "But the smell is too."

"Don't be getting ideas, kid. It was wrapped and my boots are the only place I keep one on me and not have to worry about it getting crushed."

The Wolverine uniform didn't appear to have pockets. "I can understand that but why are you in uniform? Surely training me doesn't require that much spandex?" The wicked grin on her face told him she was teasing him.

"Is this where I am suppose to say 'Don't call me Shirley?'"

"That was old Logan. Seriously why haven't you been wearing regular clothes like me?" She pinched a handful of her oversized T-shirt and shook it to emphasize her point.

"I don't think they have a sports bra in my size. Are you trying to avoid our original subject?" His gaze told her it time to get back to business.

"Not intentionally but..." Her eyes filled with her troubled emotions. "I don't belong here, Logan. You were right. It's not because I'll think I'll get hurt. I won't, it's because you guys are so tight knit and I feel like an intruder. Everyone has been so nice but still, it's not, it's just not the same.'

"You aren't an intruder." He growled at her.

"I spend the most time with you, Hank and Remy. You are training me and Hank and I work on Cerebro together and Remy, well, that is another ball of wax all together." She grabbed a leaf of a low branch and began to wring it in her frustration.

"I bet if tried a little Jeanie would open her arms to you, the others in time. I've never seen you like this. You always seem like you don't have a care in the world."

"I didn't until I came here. Being here has made me long for things I can't have." Her beautiful gray filled with tears. She bent her head and studied the ground praying he wouldn't notice.

He saw the moisture she was desperately trying to hide. "What kind of things?" He asked as gently as someone could that growled half of their words.

His soft tone was almost her undoing. She couldn't understand why her emotions were so out of control today. It took all her willpower to keep the tears from spilling. With a deep breath the words started tumbling out in a sad rush. "I grew up in the typical dysfunctional home. My father left when I was ten. He hid all his assets in another name so he wouldn't have to pay a hefty child support. While he was living the high life with his girlfriends, my mother was working two jobs to keep us afloat. She got more bitter every year.

My sister took care of me after school. Fresh into her teen years, she wasn't happy getting saddle with me. As she got older and started dating she would drag me with her to the university so she could spend some time with her boyfriend. They would leave me in the library so they could have his dorm room all to themselves.

"It was there that I heard Charles speak. The way he spoke with such conviction left me breathless. I had never heard anyone that believe in something so much that they were willing to be openly criticized just to reach out to the few who would take his words to heart. I knew then that I wanted to make a difference. I didn't know how but I someday people would relate my name with that kind of honor."

"I took a computer science class in school and found I had an aptitude for it. I liked the way computers work. It doesn't yell at you if you miskey. It is totally reliable. It only stops when it finds the answer. I was striving for answers. Answers to any puzzle. I couldn't find the whys of my own life so I began to crave the completion of other ones. Does that make sense?"

She was too wrapped up in the past to notice his nod. "My mother and sister died when I was eighteen." The words were spoken in a whisper. "I missed them but I didn't feel that all consuming grief you expect to feel when you lose a love one. They deserved better than that. They were like strangers but they were still my family. They deserved my tears but I couldn't cry."

A sob escaped her throat and tears began to trickle down her eyes. She held up her hand to stop him when he started toward her. "No! Don't you see? I don't help those divorcees out the goodness of my heart. I lie to myself and say that is what I do but it's not. It's my penance. My penance for not caring enough to cry and for liking bringing those men down a level." She covered her eyes with her hands unable to face him any longer.

The tears were coming more freely now accompanied by racking sobs that shook her body. She could feel arms going around but was too lost in her misery to pull away. "It goin' t' b' okay, cherie."

She pulled back looking at Remy through swollen eyes. "How? What?" She couldn't choke out anything more. Her throat was too raw and the tears refused to stop.

"Shhh... P'tite. Let it out." She buried her face in his shirt and continued to cry as he rocked her in his arms.

"I can handle t'ings, mon ami." Remy told Logan.

Logan nodded and left the clearing heading back toward the mansion. No wonder she had been drawn to the Cajun. Between the two they could sink a boat with all the guilt they were carrying around.

To be continued