17 years old, and a complete failure. Can anyone's life be any more pathetic? Wallowing in self pity really helps me get thing in perspective. Actually, I hate pity, of any sort, because it's a weak and self-destructive emotion, and Paige Guthrie is neither of those things. The cause of my depression is the hideous day I've had.

We were going through a routine danger "grotto" exercise. The team was divided in two, and the objective was to capture the enemy flag while protecting our own. Mister Cassidy was helping us to develop our strategic skills, and was observing us through the observation bay. My team included Chamber and Skin, while the opposition was Jubilee, Synch, and M. The environment in the grotto transformed into a Southeast Asian jungle with extremely dense foliage. Our base was located on the south side, but the rules allowed us to move the flag with us as we attempted to capture the enemy flag. I decided to take matters into my own hands, and proceeded to give strategic orders.

"Chamber, you guard the flag, since your bio-plasmic blast can stun any enemy. I'll stay close to you and neutralize any threat that gets too close. And Skin, you'll take the point. You're the reconnaissance man so keep your eyes and ears open".

I thought it was a good plan, and even though I heard some mumbling from Skin, there were no real objections. So we advanced northward toward the enemy camp. Aside from the rustling of the leaves, due to the ventilation, the forest was quiet. I knew that when things became this easy and relaxed, something had to happen. I motioned for chamber to stay back and went to join Skin at the foot of a tree that he had just climbed down.

"Did you see anything?"

"Si, the leaves on the bush to left are rustling wildly. It's probably Jube trying to be sneaky."

"OK, you go back and help Chamber guard the flag, but I want you both to continue moving forward, and back me up. I'm going to go and take Lee out of the game."

"Don't be too sure of yourself, Jube's been doing this longer than we have." With that Angelo left to go help Chamber.

I haven't mastered my Husking power yet, so usually the form underneath is random, but if I concentrate sometimes I come pretty close to what I want. Jubilee's power is fireworks, so I needed to counter that with heavier power. If I could sneak up behind her, and subdue her with strength, she wouldn't have a chance to use her fireworks. I wanted to Husk into the metallic form that I used when we battled Synch in St. Louis, so I concentrated on the feel of the metal and husked. When I looked down, instead of metal, I had turned into solid rock. That would work just as well, and I did have a lot of Strength, so I was satisfied.

I crept deeper into the jungle, and circled back behind the trees. I could see the spot Angelo had pointed out, but as I moved closer, I didn't see Jubilee anywhere. I hoped Chamber and Skin were coming quickly to back me up. I carefully explored the surrounding area, but there was nothing there. At this point I was a little uneasy, but I reassured myself with the thought that Skin was probably mistaken, and the other team hadn't reached us yet. I turned back to catch up with the others, but I was assaulted by a barrage of blinding fireworks. Unable to see, I crouched down and lashed out at my attacker with a wide sweeping kick. My leg made contact with something hard and immovable. Looking up I could barely make out Synch standing in front of me. His aura reflecting the strength of my rock form. I jumped up and began to attack synch, yet his aura nullified most of my blows. Jubilee kept throwing sparks at me from the branch of one of the trees, but I didn't see M anywhere.

Just as I was tiring myself out by fighting with Synch, I saw M making her way toward us. She flew behind me and pinned down my arms. No matter how hard I tried, my strength just could not match up to hers. Jubilee jumped down from the tree, and blinded me completely with a fresh array of fireworks, while Synch stood to one side to make sure I didn't escape.

Jubilee excitedly shouted, "Surrender or forfeit your life!"

"Yeah, yeah, you won, ah surrender." I hate losing, and the agitation brought out the accent I'm trying very hard to lose.

With the end of the exercise, the scene immediately shifted back to the usual garden formation, and Mister Cassidy walked up to where we stood. "Well done team, excellent work."

A few feet away I saw Skin and Chamber getting to their feet. They looked about as good as I felt.

"I hope ye all learned that team work is much more important to the ultimate goal than personal glory."

"Si, si, but some people on our team had things to prove."

I know Skin meant that lightly, but it still hurt to have my failings pointed out so glaringly. I moved a little bit away as M began to relate how perfectly they had caught Chamber while Skin and I were discussing strategy by the tree. She continued in the same arrogant manner to say that intercepting Skin had been almost too easy.

"Now lass, don't get too cocky. Ye know that ye had the advantage of yuir teammates. Ye shouldna discount their contributions."

"I have to admit that the plan to capture Husk was Jubilation's idea."

"Good work lass. Ye coordinated everyone's skills to bring down Husk very nicely."

"Thanks, Sean. It's good to know that my time with the X-Men paid off."

"Now Paige, I must say---"

I knew what would happen next. Banshee would tell me what I had done wrong, and my team and the others would see just how incompetent I am. So I cut him off. "I know, I know, I shouldn't have acted like I was the only one who could be in charge. I'm not the leader of the team, so I should stop pretending that I am. I screwed up, and we lost. I... I'm sorry." I quickly left the grotto and returned to my room.

Well, I've been in here for a few hours, and now that my bout of pity is over, I think it's time I went out and faced everyone again. They're probably all in the rec room, enjoying the evening, while I'm holed up in here like a leper. Alienation is not a good thing. There's a slight knock on the door, and without waiting for a response Jubilee walks in. I'm sitting at the desk, so she moves some clothes of the bed, and slumps down on it. For a moment I just watch her, then I turn my head and pretend to read Chapter 14 in my anatomy book.

"Ya know hayseed, if you take it all out on yo'self, you don't leave anything for us to say. And I was going to chew you out big time!"

I kept my eyes on the book, but responded to Jubilee in the same light hearted manner. "Well Lee, I like to admit my failings, but don't worry I love to crow about my successes."

"Hey, that's the spirit. Everyone makes mistakes, they just don't beat themselves up over them as harshly as you do. Besides this was just one exercise. I'm sure we'll all do better next time, and if you're lucky enough to be on my team, I guarantee you'll be on the winning side. So, lets go down and celebrate my victory with some ice cream, then we'll challenge Synch and Chamber to foosball. It's either that or playing scrabble with Skin, 'cuz I saw him coming this way with the game."

"Definitely the ice cream, and Lee, Thanks." Jubilee waved it off, and led the way downstairs. At that moment I knew that no matter how bad things may be, it's never hopeless. And besides, next time there was no way Jubilee was going to win!!