The next morning, Jean sat down on the front stoop of the school. With a small sigh, she gazed out at the grounds. The leaves were beginning to change on the trees-- already there was a hint of reds and golds. In a few weeks, it would be a breathtaking sight.

It reminded her a great deal of the Xavier Institute, back in New York. She thought about the first autumn she had spent there-- her first few months after joining the X-Men. Those were some good times, back when she was learning not only how to control her powers, but also about life and love. They had had to grow up fast-- more quickly than the average teenagers. Much like these kids, the members of Generation X, were being forced to do. Sometimes it was hard to believe that there was already another generation of X-Men.

It still seemed like just yesterday she had first put on that yellow and blue uniform under the codename Marvel Girl. But she was a girl no longer, and the woman who was Phoenix had been through much in her young life. She had died, come back to life, faced clones and impersonating energy-creatures, as well as meeting children from alternate future timelines. And somehow, miraculously, she was still sane and none the worse for wear. Truthfully, she had never felt better-- mentally, physically, emotionally, she was well-adjusted and happy with her life. But she still felt unsatisfied. There was something missing in her life.

When she was a girl and dreamed about what her life would be like as an adult, she never thought her existence would be focused around the fact that she was a mutant, or that she would be a member of an outlaw group of super heroes. Never in her wildest dreams did she think that one day she would visit the far reaches of space, that she would travel millennia into the future or decades into the past.

She had managed to fall in love with an incredibly wonderful man who made her happier than she ever deemed possible. Now that they were married, their love seemed only stronger, their relationship closer. She had friends who cared for her, a family who loved her. She even had the quaint little house she always wanted-- sans the white-picket fence, but hers, all the same. There was only one thing missing. She wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet. But that one vital thing was something Scott was not willing to give her-- at least, not yet.

Now, however, there was the prospect of taking in Jubilee. It was not as though they were looking to adopt her, but they were willing to take responsibility for her care and upbringing during her convalescence. The idea excited Jean. They would be doing something important, preventing the teenager from being lost in the system, and thereby allow her to still see her friends, attend the school where she was learning how to cope with being a mutant, and remain with her adopted family, the X-Men.

And doing so would also help alleviate the ache Jean felt inside every time she watched a young mother pushing a stroller down the street or a smiling couple walking hand-in-hand with their child. It would let her be a mother, if only for several months. Was she being selfish, wanting to do this? She did care for Jubilee; she loved her, as a mother loved a daughter-- of that, she was certain. And a mother's natural instinct was to protect her child. So why was she beginning to have doubts as to whether she had made the right decision?

She did not hear him approach. He was much too quiet to make any noise as he walked. Instead, she sensed his presence as he neared the bottom of the steps.

"'Mornin', Red," Logan said, puffing on a cigarette.

"Hi, Logan."

"Mind if I join you?"

"Please."

"Thanks." Stubbing out the end of the cigarette, he sat down next to her. "You look much more rested this mornin'."

Jean smiled, and flushed slightly. She looked down at her lap to avoid his gaze as she remembered the previous night. When she had not been worrying about Jubilee, she had actually found a few moments to relax.

"What'cha doin' now?"

"Just thinking," she replied, hugging her knees to her chest. "Scott and Sean were going to try to contact the professor again before breakfast, so, in the meantime, I thought I'd get a little air."

Silently, he nodded. He followed her gaze out to the trees in the distance. The cool breeze was rustling through the leaves, creating a soothing sound.

"What's on your mind, Logan?" she asked.

"Same that's on yours, I'm sure: the kid." He leaned forward, clasping his hands between his knees. "The last thing Jubilation needs is to go to some orphanage. She's already lost too much of her family. This could be enough to crush her."

Jean nodded in agreement.

"They're not gonna let Cassidy and Frost keep custody because, in their minds, takin' care of her would be neglectin' the other students, and vice versa. Seems to me the only solution is for one of the X-Men to become her guardian in Cassidy's place."

"Funny you should say that, Logan. Scott and I were discussing that very same idea last night."

"Well, great minds think alike, eh, Jeanie? So, I figure when we go to the hospital later, I'll tell that doctor that I want to fill out the necessary paperwork. . . ."

"You?" Jean looked at him, nonplused. "*You* want to become her legal guardian?"

"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised? I'm the one who first met the kid. She's hung around with me, trusted me, more than anyone else. We've got a special bond. And I care about her. I'd do anything not to see her sent away."

"Are you sure you're the best choice, Logan?" Jean asked. "Do you really think they'd give you custody? A single man, with little or no record of his past?"

"I figure Chuck's as good a reference as any. But why're you soundin' so negative about this, Jeanie? Who were you thinkin' should be her guardian?"

She hesitated a moment, looking at a leaf blowing in the wind. She turned to face him and met his gaze. "Actually, Scott and I discussed the possibility of us applying to be her legal guardians."

"You two?" Logan stared at her. "Jeanie, I know you and Jube have gotten close, 'specially in the time I left the team, but she and Scott. . . . Hell, she'd sooner see the Cajun or ole Chuck as a father-figure."

"What, and you'd make a better father to her?"

He snorted. "Not to blow my own horn, but yeah. Like I said, she trusts me. She looks up to me. She cares about me. And I think of her as my own."

"Logan, there's more to parenting than loving a child. If you think that's all it takes, then you're in for a rude awakening."

"Jeanie, I don't understand where this is coming from. I figured Frost and Cyke and maybe even Cassidy would object, but I was sure you'd be helpin' me argue my case. Why are you making this sound like such a terrible idea?"

"I'm thinking about what's in Jubilee's best interest, Logan-- both what social services will see as proper guardians, and what we know will benefit her the most. Realistically, if they're going to accept anyone as her guardians, Scott and I have the best chance as a married couple in the employ of the Xavier Institute, with records of our past and our family histories.

"As for her best interest-- she needs someone who's going to be there for her, unconditionally. She's going to have to undergo rehabilitation to regain full use of her legs. She's going to need therapy to recover her missing memories. She's going to need someone to help clothe her, to feed her, to wipe away the tears when she wakes up from nightmares, to encourage her when she feels like giving up. Someone to pick her up when she falls, someone to hug her when she succeeds. Someone who will be there for her always, come what may, no matter what. And, frankly, I don't think you're that kind of person. I've lost count of how many times you've snuck off in the middle of the night, going on one trip or another."

"I can change my lifestyle, Jeanie. If that's what it takes, I'd do it for Jubilee."

"I don't think so, Logan. Look at this past week. We were not here an hour, and you ran off to try to find Shaw and Tessa. Jubilee was lying on death's door. She slipped into a coma, we nearly lost her. . . ." Feeling the rush of tears, Jean quickly pushed them back, focusing on the anger that filled her. "And where were you? Traipsing across the French countryside with Emma Frost. Dammit, Logan, she needed you here! *I* needed you here! Sean was dividing his time between the school and the hospital, and he was still acting like more of a father to both the other students and Jubilee than you were.

"You're a loner, Logan. Always have been, always will be. Let's say you become Jubilee's guardian. You'll be there for her for a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months. But what happens when something else comes up? An old friend resurfaces needing your assistance, or there's a mission where your skills are sorely needed. You'd be gone in a heartbeat. And where does that leave Jubilee?"

"And you think Xavier's little soldier wouldn't be the same way?" Logan asked angrily. "If Alex or Cable called, you don't think Scott'd drop everything and everyone and go running?"

"Frankly, no. Let me tell you a little story, Logan. Back during our honeymoon, when we spent years in the future raising Nate, Scott was faced with just such a situation. We were supposed to accompany some of the rebels on a raid of one of Apocalypse's strongholds. But Nate's techno-organic virus was out of remission. He was in a coma, not unlike Jubilee's. We weren't sure if he was going to live or die. Scott was desperately needed for that raid-- his leadership, his combat skills. But he refused to leave Nate's side. At that moment, he knew what was more important. He thought with his heart. I have no doubt he would make the same sacrifice for Jubilee, even though she is not his child. A parent always puts his child's interests ahead of his own, no matter what the cost.

"The fact is, Logan, Scott is a better father than you could ever hope to be. You may know about loyalty and love, but you have a lot to learn about parenting."

For a long time, he was silent. He got up and walked down the steps, staring off at the trees. He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. Finally, he spoke, though he did not turn to face her.

"I guess you're right, Jeanie. Kid's better with two stable parents than with one loose cannon any day. It was a silly idea anyways."

"No, Logan, it wasn't," Jean said, walking over to him and gently touching his arm. "It was a very noble gesture, and one made purely out of love. We're not looking to replace you, Logan. Hell, we're not even looking to become her parents per se. I don't think that's what she wants anyway. We're looking to take responsibility for her, to help her through these next few months. They're going to be tough on her, no doubt about it. And I don't think we can do it alone. I know both Jubilee and we would appreciate it if you could help out. I'm sure it would mean a lot to her. What do you say?"

He smiled. "Sure. Contrary to what you may think because I booked this week, I do care about her, and I want to see her get well."

"That's what we all want," she said, embracing him. "We're all going to need to work together on this one, okay?"

"Yeah."

She smiled at him. Suddenly, her eyes got a faraway look-- an expression he had seen before, when she communicated with someone telepathically. For a moment her face brightened, looking hopeful. Just as quickly, it was gone, and her expression darkened. "Scott said they just got off the phone with the professor."

"Any luck?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

Sadly, she shook her head.

"C'mon, let's go get some chow before we head back the hospital," he said, placing an arm around her shoulders as they headed back up the stairs. "I s'pose you're gonna run your idea past Emma and Sean."

"Yes. Can we count on your support?"

"Always," he told her. "I know Irish'll take to the idea, but, 'specially after your little confrontation yesterday, Frost's liable to bust a gut with her protests. Just leave her to me. No claws, of course," he amended with a grin as he opened the front door.

"I might be willing to make an exception on that one," Jean said with a smirk. "Thanks, Logan."

End of Chapter 12
Jennifer Sorowitz '98