Jonothon and I had been able to catch a commercial flight home instead of getting a plane from Emma. I for was one was glad, Emma's cold empty planes were downright creepy at times. When the plane skidded to a halt on the runway, everyone began to stand slowly, stretch and leave. Jonothon seemed eager to exit the plane, I couldn't blame him, being pressed in with so many minds and bodies, most of which probably would kill us if they knew what we were. By the time I had gotten up from my window seat and retrieved my bag from the overhead compartment, Jono had already left.

"Jonothon!" I called. "You forgot your jacket!"

He was far enough up the aisle already it would be pointless to have him come back, so rather than try again telepathically, I shrugged, picked his jacket up from the chair, and stuffed it in my bag. By now, most everyone in the plane was standing in the aisle to get out, so it was slow moving. When I finally met up with Jono in the lobby, it was nearly ten minutes later.

("Where were you?") he asked as I fell into stride with him.

("Got hung up inside.")

We went to the parking lot where a white limo was parked and waiting. Jono and I climbed in the back. No sooner were the doors shut than we felt it pull away. The panel to the front of the limo slid down and I could see the back of Bumpkin's head.

"Safe trip?" he asked simply.

"Yes."

The panel rolled back up and we heard no more of him for the rest of the trip. I watched the relatively familiar scenery pass out side the window as we made our way to the Academy.

"Thanks for comming, Jono," I said when the limo stopped and Bumpkin opened the door.

("Yer welcome,") he sent.

I gave him a quick hug before grabbing my bag and getting out of the limo. It looked as if it were going to rain and the air smelled of ozone. We were parked outside of the main educational building; probably because it was equidistant from the boys and girls dorm and Bumpkin had better things to do than drive Jono and me all over campus to get us to our respective rooms.

I felt glad that I could use my powers again without worrying about observers. I looked behind me and I could tell Jono felt the same way; psionic energy was trailing behind him as he walked the opposite direction. I iced up and sledded back toward the girls' dorm.

I am so hungry, I haven't eaten since breakfast. Well, it's not like those in-flight peanuts were filling. Making a detour, I headed for the kitchen instead to grab something to eat. No one was there, which was fine by me, because at the moment I didn't exactly feel up to a 'Q & A' session from any well meaning teammates. Tossing my bag on a chair, I headed for the fridge and pulled out a loaf of bread and dug around for some fixings.

"Gee, I can pick peanut butter and jelly or bologna. What a huge selection," I muttered grumpily. I decided on a PBJ with strawberry jam, my favorite flavor. I made my sandwich, poured a glass of milk, and was just about to start eating when I heard voices getting louder in the distance. It was Jubilee and Everett.

"--not sure what was going on, but he musta said sumpthin' that like, really torked her off, cuz she slapped the dude right upside the face."

"She slapped him? I saw his cheek, he was bleeding, J!"

"She's the Ice Queen, Ev! Think about it. Remember that time Paige hit you in the forehead with a broken ice cube and it bled for, like, 15 minutes?"

"Oh! That explains a lot--"

He stopped short as they came through the door and saw me sitting there. They both stood there, embarrassed. Evidently, they hadn't known I was back yet. It must have been obvious my my expression that I'd heard everything.

"Hi, Sums!" Jubilee began breezily. "Was your flight--"

"Excuse me," I interrupted, grabbing my milk and quickly walking past them and out of the kitchen.

"Summer--" Ev began, but I was upset enough about the fact they'd so blantantly gossip about Angelo and me that I didn't stop. Jubilee ran after me and grabbed my arm.

"Summer, please, listen to me," she said imploringly. "We're your friends, and--"

"And friends gossip about each other's problems, don't they? Especially the love lives, those are real juicy topics, aren't they?" I bit my lip to stop myself before I could say anything else.

Her face fell and her eyes got a sheen to them. "We weren't gossiping, Summer," she said quietly. "I'm your best friend, and Jono is Ange's. Since Jono wasn't here to help Ange through this, Ev tried to talk to him a bit. He hasn't exactly taken your leaving very well, and we were...concerned about him."

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

She cleared her throat and looked at the ceiling a moment, as if trying to compose her thoughts. "Let me shoot it to ya straight, Sums. Whatever he said or did, I'm telling ya he's sorrier than hell about it, because the man has not eaten, slept, or even washed up--let alone shaved--the entire time you were gone. He just sits there in his room with a depressed look on his face, staring out the window and smoking cigarettes."

My jaw dropped slightly. "Oh."

"Ev said he even tried to call you, but evidently you wouldn't talk to him. Have you ever seen Angelo cry before, Summer?"

"Are you serious? He actually cried?"

"No, I'm lyin' to ya, or Ev is, 'cuz that's what he told me." She sighed. "Oh, c'mon, not like a baby cries but that not-so-solid-rock thing. Ya know? Like ya feel and ya don't want anyone else to know. Look. I'm just tryin' to help you here, Summer." She took me by the shoulders and looked intently in my eyes. "After what I've seen and heard, I'm telling you right now as a friend that you'd be an idiot to throw away what you have. He loves you, Summer. Go talk to him!" She nodded her head the direction of the boys' dorm.

My eyes started to tear up and I blinked hastily, biting my lip. I nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right, J. I'm glad you told me." I sniffled and nodded shakily. "I will, though. Don't tell him, I don't want it to be like some...some orchestrated event. I'll catch up to him. Promise." I sighed. "Thanks, Jubes. For everything," I whispered. We hugged, almost spilling my milk all over myself in the process.

Jubilee laughed and jumped back. "Whoops, watch it! No problemo. Gowan, go clean yerself up." She turned and went back toward the kitchen.

I made my way back to my room and quickly finished my sandwich. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I grimaced. Ugh, I look like death warmed over...

I jumped as a knock came from the door. I bit my lip nervously and went to let Angelo in. Part of me dreaded talking to him and the rest wanted to let him hold me and forget about everything else. It wasn't a sentiment entirely like me. I opened the door.

"Ange, I--" I stopped, surprised to see Jono standing there. "Jono? What are you doing here?"

("Yer forgot yer bag,") he replied matter of factly. ("I was passin' by the kitchen when Ev called me in and I noticed yer left it there. Thought I'd bring it up, save yer a trip.")

I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jono. You're a real pal." I gave him a hug.

I could sense his mental smile. ("Aww, it's nothing--")

At that point Angelo frantically rushed in the room.

"Summer! I--" He stopped suddenly and gaped at us. He looked sick, as if he'd just seen something horrifying. In actuality, to him he probably had...

Jono quickly released me. ("Er, anyway, here's yer bag, Summer.")

"Uh, thanks," I repeated. ("Shoot!") I shot a quick sideways glance at Jono.

He nodded Ange's direction. ("Hullo, Angelo.")

"Jono." Ange's voice sounded cold and distant.

Jono's discomfort at the awkwardness of the situation was obvious. ("I'll talk to yer guys later.") Waving a quick goodbye to us both, he left the room, closing the door part way behind him.

For a moment, neither of us spoke but simply stood at opposite sides of the room and looked at each other. Angelo broke the silence.

"Hi."

"Hi," I answered.

"Did you, ah, have a nice trip?" he asked.

J was right, he looks awful. "Yeah. My brothers were both home from school. It was nice to spend some time with the whole family together at the same time."

"That's great," he said, forcing a little smile and nod.

"Yeah." I knew I'd already said it, but I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"What just happened here?" Angelo said, pointing to my bag.

"Oh, um, I forgot my bag in the kitchen and Jono brought it up to me."

"That was nice of him."

"Uh, huh," I said in agreement.

Following Ange's glance, I noticed he was staring at my hands and suddenly became aware that I'd been twisting my ring around and around on my finger without realizing it. Quickly, I dropped my hands to my sides and looked up at him.

"So," I said, still unable to think of anything to say to him.

"So."

"I...guess I'd better start unpacking my things." I nodded toward the bag.

He walked over and picked it up. "Here, let me help you," he offered.

I almost refused his offer but remembered Jubilee's advice. I had to let him in, to get us talking. Maybe this would be as good of a way as any. At least he had the grace not to bring up what happened when he'd come in the room...

"Thanks." I pulled open one of my dresser drawers and turned back to him.

"You're welcome." He smiled at me as he opened the bag, but the smile quickly faded as he pulled out a jacket.

A black leather jacket.

Jono's jacket.

He held it up assessingly and looked at it briefly before his eyes flicked up to meet mine. "You don't have a leather jacket. Did you buy this while you were in Kentucky or something?"

I gulped mentally at his tone, knowing he was very well aware that the assumption he'd made was not the case at all. You know exactly whose jacket that is, Angelo. Damn it, he'll take it the wrong way...

"No, Angelo, it's Jonothon's." I sighed and flopped onto the bed, suddenly weary.

"I see," he said, with that same cold tone he'd used with Jono earlier. "It smells like your perfume," he noted.

I tried to not sound like a smart aleck, but I wanted to make things clear to him. "It probably smells like my perfume because it was crammed in my bag, with my perfume bottle and my things, for a few hours. He let me borrow it," I said, sitting up. "I put it behind my neck on the plane ride."

I could tell Angelo was quickly losing his cool again. "What's going on Summer?"

"What do you mean, 'What's going on?' Nothing's--"

"Oh, come on, Summer! It's not like you need a jacket--"

Somehow I figured he was already so on edge he would be bound to interpret this in any way. But when he actually said it, I was shocked. I blinked, startled at his implication.

"You are on thin ice, Angelo." The moment I said it, I wished I hadn't; that sort of statement couldn't come off as serious from me. "Have a little faith in me, Ange! Have some faith in your best friend too."

Right after I'd spoken the words, I realized I'd made another mistake. Not completely what I'd said, but rather how I'd said it, had put Angelo on the defensive. He was mad.

"First the CD, now his jacket! Right now, I'm not sure what to think any more, sweetheart," he shouted. "You run off to Kentucky with Jono when we're supposed to be engaged, but nothing's going on, oh, absolutely not."

My face reddened in embarrassed anger. "Oh, yeah. I'm cheating on you and makin' time with your best friend, is that what everyone's saying? Is that what you think, honey? You know what I think? I'm thinking I wish you'd be man enough to just give me the benefit of the doubt for once," I yelled back.

"You didn't offer me that luxury when you found those pictures of Torres," he spat.

My face reddened even deeper. "Why, you son of a--" I stopped and closed my eyes. "If this is the way you're going to act, I'm beginning to wonder why I even came back here again!"

"Why did you, then?" His expression was smug; it dared, no--challenged--me, to tell the truth. That I'd needed to see him. "Well?"

The emotions inside me snapped loose like a rubber band stretched beyond its limits. Picking up the nearest object, which just happened to be a box of Kleenex, I threw it at him. In my anger, my aim was seriously off, the box hit his leg with a hollow sound and fell to the floor. He stood there in a sort of surprise.

I wanted to scream to him that I didn't need that sort of crap and for him to get the hell out of my room, but I didn't. I almost didn't trust my own words, afraid of what I might say. So instead, I turned to my ice form and tucked my knees up under my chin. I felt better almost instantly. I felt in control. My ice form gave me a sort of shell, I didn't have to worry about my face or body betraying my feelings because I could "lock" my appearance. I didn't have to worry about my voice wavering or crying either. Yes, deep inside I knew I was being extremely childish and maybe that was evidence that I wasn't old enough or ready to get married, but I didn't care.

His words mirrored my thoughts. "Is that what you're going to do then? Just surround yourself in a little bubble of security? You can't stay that way forever--"

I thought absently that I probably could. Jubilee was so wrong. If he was so torn up inside how could he act like this? The same way I did, out of stubborn pride.

"Fine!" he bellowed, flinging the door open and storming out the room. He almost ran into Monet, whose calm exterior almost wavered to confusion or perhaps surprise at the apparent intensity of our disagreement.

"Watch out, M, she's pouting." With that, he headed down the hall and banged down the stairs noisily. The door slammed behind him.

M followed him down the hall with her eyes and then walked into the room. She sat in the air beside me, resting her chin on her knees as I did.

"I understand, in a way," she began. "I know what it's like when things seem so wrong you have to shut everything else out just so you can think. But it doesn't always help. Summer, you did not see him while you and Jono were gone. He looked positively ragged. And when you came back, he changed so suddenly it didn't seem real.

"It's not as if I have a lot of room to speak, but you are being very childish and stupid. You have something most people spend their entire lives looking for. You've both treated each other poorly, you've both been hurt. But now you need to talk and to make amends. You need to do your part.

"When you and Jono ran off, none of us knew what to think. It wasn't really like either of you." She was quiet for a moment.

Surely she didn't think something was going on with Jono and me. Surely it wasn't. Surely she would know me better than that. She was the sane one of the group.

"No," she began interrupting my train of thought. "I don't think you and Jonothon did anything wrong. He was just being a friend to you and you were acting on emotions. But it confused Angelo. You left him feeling vulnerable anyway, and then his best friend left too...with you. It was hard on him. Think about what I've said. See it from his point of view."

She said nothing else, only flew from the room. After a while, Jubilee came in. I remained reticent.

"Unlike M," she said, "ya can't pretend you don't hear me and you don't have any medical excuse to go all 'catatonic' or whatever. So don't. I'm your friend. C'mon, Ison, don't be like this."

I looked up at her. "Jubilee, this is all so messed up. It's just wrong."

"It is," she agreed. "And I don't know what else to tell ya. I tried to talk some sense into ya, Monet tried, too. Even Skin did in his own way. I'm not here to comfort ya, I'm not even here ta talk. At the risk of sounding like a total Velveeta cheese-head, you're making a big mistake. Don't expect him to say he's sorry first, cos now it's not about that girl he had been with or whatever, it's your all's pride we're dealin' with now."

She seemed exasperated as she grabbed Jono's jacket and left. I'd thank her later.

I got up, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, I left the room and made my way to the bathroom to clean up. As I dried my face on a towel, I glanced at my reflection once more.

Okay, Ison. Moment of truth. You can do this. You have to. Forget about your own concerns. Do it for love. His love... I left the bathroom and headed for the boys' dorms.

When I got there, Ev was coming down the hallway. I stopped him.

"Everett, do me a favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?" he asked.

I bit my lip. "Um, could you like, knock on Ange's door and get him to answer it?"

His eyebrow raised and he gave me a disapproving look. "That's sneaky, Summer--"

"Please?"

He sighed. "Come on," he said, turning me around and heading for Angelo's room. I stopped and stood in the middle of the hallway.

"I can do this. I will do this," I whispered to myself, blinking back tears.

"No pun intended, but chill out, Summer. Crying's the last thing you want to do."

"I can't help it," I said. "I'm just a wee bit upset here."

"That's obvious, but you'll just put him off if he sees you crying," Ev told me.

I straightened up. "Ange isn't like that," I declared. "He's a very sensitive guy--"

"That's just it," Ev said. "What do girls want when they cry? Sympathy. 'Oh, poor baby, let me comfort you.' Somehow, I doubt--"

"What a typically guy thing to say," I muttered.

"Ange is a guy," he countered.

"Hmph." I grabbed his arm and pushed him ahead a bit. "Let's do this before I lose my nerve completely."

We approached the door and Ev knocked. "Ange? Are you in there?" No answer. Ev knocked again. "Yo, Ange, it's Ev."

"Si, si, keep your shirt on," Ange said. The door opened. "Whatcha want Ev? I ain't feelin' too great right now."

"Actually, that's what I came to talk to you about. Or, rather, what this young lady would like to talk to you about. Right?" He grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of the doorway. I stared at the floor, unable to look at Angelo.

"Well? Don't tell me you dragged me here for nothing, Summer," Ev said. He turned and walked down the hallway.

I looked up slowly. Once more, neither of us said anything but seeing as he hadn't slammed the door in my face yet, I took it as a good sign. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I just couldn't get my mouth to say the words.

"Angelo, I'm sorry."

He didn't answer at first.

"Yeah. Me, too," he murmured quietly. "But..." He sighed. "I think..."

No, no, no, that look in his eyes... Please no, don't tell me...

"Please don't say it," I whispered, blinking back tears. I bit my lip. "I...I don't think I could--" I covered my mouth with my hand, turned and ran down the hallway.

"Summer?"

I turned to see Ev coming out of his room.

"What happened? Are you all right?"

I smiled in an attempt to cover up. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine..." My face crumpled. "Oh, Ev!" I sobbed. "He hates me!"

"No, he doesn't," Ev disagreed. "Yeah, you had an arguement, but why would you think such a thing--"

"Because it's over," I whispered. "I just can't believe it's over!"

He gaped at me. "What? Oh, no..."

I began to cry in real earnest and he wrapped his arms around me, making shushing noises.

"Shhhh, it'll be okay, Summer, you'll see," he soothed. "I'll talk to him."

"You can't just talk to him...this isn't about talking and stuff...I mean...it's..." I pulled away from Everett. "I gotta go...I just want to be by myself."

I turned from him and left the boys dorm. Surprisingly, I wasn't blubbering like an idiot, or crying or showing any emotion. I felt so...detached. Like I was seeing everything through a tunnel.

I eventually wound up in the 'sphere and just sat on the ground. For the longest time I simply sat alone. I was very surprised someone hadn't come it, whether they stumbled upon me or sought me out, I thought someone would have come. But no one did.

And then, finally someone did come. It was Angelo. He came and sat down across from me. I didn't look up from the patch of grass that my eyes had been fixed on for the last hour.

"Yeah?" I asked.

I think I surprised him by my lack of emotion. I was surprising myself. Other than that pit in my stomach, it was as though nothing was wrong. Like my body registered the fact something was up, I felt a bit sick, but my mind was on auto-pilot or something.

"Summer, I was just thinkin'...there are a lot o' people here and we are all so close. If we have a big fight, it'll screw up the entire team and...you know what I'm talking about."

"Yes." I didn't look up.

"I'm just sayin' I think we should, you know, be civil to each other."

I looked at him. "Am I being uncivil now?"

Now he looked away. "No, I wasn't saying that."

I still didn't look up. I couldn't. I knew that if I did, if I looked at him, I'd start crying.

"Okay," I whispered. "For the team..." I couldn't keep my lips from trembling.

He got up.

"Well...I guess I'll see you around, then."

I couldn't speak but managed to nod.

As soon as he was gone, I rested my head in my hands and burst into tears.

Miraculously, I managed to make it to my room without running into anyone. I slipped inside and locked the door behind me. I knew my friends meant well, but I just couldn't deal with seeing anyone at the moment. I just wanted to be alone.

To spend some time thinking. Sorting out my thoughts.

Life was all too ironic. It was perfect one day; I couldn't have imagined it being any better. The next...

But what about Angelo? my subconcious nagged at me. How does he feel about this?... It's all his fault! If he hadn't tried to hide the truth from me, then brush it off like nothing ever happened when I did find out... But he's hurting inside as much as I am. Admit it girl. You can feel his pain--

"I've got to stop this," I muttered to myself, rubbing at my eyes. "I'm going to drive myself crazy."

I peeled off my clothes and tossed them apathetically on the floor. Pulling on a big T-shirt, I crawled into bed and curled up under the covers.

And tossed.

And turned.

Ever have one of those nights where you're just dead tired, but you simply can not sleep? This was one of those nights.

After what seemed to be an eternity, I rolled over and looked at the clock. 12:51. I've been laying here for over two hours...

I admitted to myself that sleep was a lost cause, and got out of the bed. Opening my door just a crack, I peered out into the hallway. No one was there.

I snuck out of the girls' dorm and to the kitchen. There's bound to be a box of sleeping pills in here somewhere...rats! They're all gone. Figures. I sighed. What else would put me to sleep?

I padded over to the fridge to get some milk. Warm milk oughta--I don't believe it! Someone had put the empty gallon jug back in the fridge.

I thumped my head on the fridge door.

What do I have to do, get blasted and pass out? Right. Very funny, girl... No way.

Only one other option came to my mind.

I made my way to Emma's room and knocked on the door. After a moment she answered it, yawning hugely.

"Summer, it's one in the morning," she said groggily. "What do you need?"

"I'm sorry." I looked down at the floor. "I...I can't sleep," I murmured quietly. "Could you...you know..." I glanced up at her, my eyes pleading with her.

She frowned. "Summer, I don't think that's such a good idea--"

"Please? I just...I just can't deal with this right now." I bit my lip and blinked to keep from crying.

Her face softened and she sighed. "All right," she agreed gently, laying a hand on my shoulder. "Go on, go lie down and close your eyes."

"Thank you, Emma."

"That's fine. Just go back to your room now." She shooed me down the hall a bit.

I went to my room and laid down on the bed.

("Good night, Summer.") Her mind touched my own lightly and I felt myself drifting into peaceful oblivion.

"Shades of Gray" 17/? By Me, monet@uky.campus.mci.net and my secret-psychic-sister Krista kjscjs@ix.netcom.com.

The trouble with getting it right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.