"I know it. You know it. Jean's goldfish know it. De grass on de LAWN knows it. Hell, even Bishop's figured out dat somethin's goin' on 'tween us three."

Eyes glowing faintly and shoulders set in a determined line, Gambit spread his arms and firmly planted his hands on both sides of the doorway, effectively trapping his quarry in the X-Mansion's main kitchen. "An' I'm sick an' tired a'takin' de coward's way out," he continued inexorably. "Lettin' you dance aroun' de subject like a schoolgirl wit' a silly crush. This is serious, tu comprends?"

"Oh sure, yah, oui, je comprende," Rogue shot sassily back, tossing back one of the scraps of French she'd picked up from living around the Cajun. She had one hand on her hip; her other hand was closed tight around the sandwich she'd been munching on before she'd been so rudely interrupted. It wasn't technically the right thing to eat at eight o'clock in the morning on a Tuesday, but she was a big girl -- big enough to eat whatever she wanted for breakfast.

An' big enough ta make up mah own mind, she thought sharply, staring at her teammate through narrowed eyes.

"You DO know what I'm sayin' here, right?"

"Ah'm not stupid, Remy. Ah know what you're gettin' at, an' this ain't the time or place ta..."

"It never is, is it?" He scowled. "Well, I say it IS de right time an' place. Don't worry y'self 'bout it too much, this'll only take a minute. Let me get this out wit' no interruptions, eh cherie?" He flashed her brief, ironic smile. "Remy been rehearsin' this all night."

She rolled her eyes. It was never a good sign when he lapsed into third-person. He seemed to think it was charming. And when he thought he was being charming, he was UP to something.

"All right. I'll be as plain as I can. Maybe it's small-minded a'me, but...well...I'm jealous."

"That's obvious," she retorted.

"You promised, no interruptions."

"Ah did not. You assumed that Ah--"

"Shhh. Lemme just say this once t'rough, d'accord? Yes, all right, I admit it. If y'wanted t'hear it, dere it is. I. Am. JEALOUS. Ever since Magne--"

"Joseph."

"--MagneJoseph, Magneto Joe, whatever -- ever since Amnesia Lad wandered into our cheerful little lives I've been havin'...well...problems wit' our relationship. You an' me. We DID have somethin' going, didn't we?"

"Ah thought we did," she said softly, staring at her toes.

"Well, dat's de problem right dere. Dat's why I couldn't tell you how I felt. I t'ought you wouldn't understand."

"About the jealousy?"

"Yeah."

Well, it's about damn time, ya big chicken! Sheesh! Men! Rogue smiled brightly up at him. "Ah'm just glad that ya finally got up the nerve ta tell me that you're jealous a'Joe. That ya want me enough ta TELL me instead'a sneakin' around it lahke Ah'm supposed ta read yoah mind or somethin'."

Remy regarded her almost thoughtfully, tapping his chin. "Oh no, NO, cherie, you've got it all backwards an' inside-out. Y'see, I'm jealous a'YOU," he told her quite seriously. "It's Joseph dat I want."

Rogue's jaw dropped and the sandwich fell to the floor in a mayonnaise-y scatter of lettuce and bacon. "Ya...WHAT?!"

Gambit was already bringing his arms back down from the doorjamb to light a cigarette, a thoroughly satisfied look on his rangy features. "Well, it certainly does do a man good t'clear de air wit' his ex-, doanit? T'anks f'r listenin', cherie. I'll be seein' you 'round de mansion." And with that he wandered off whistling, leaving a still stunned Rogue standing alone amid the ruins of her breakfast.

To be continued...? Hmmm!

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: Was this a parody on my part or an April Fools' joke on the part of a certain Remy LeBeau? You decide. Either way, you should have known that if it's got Gambit in it, Kielle's up to NO GOOD!!! {G} The characters and the setting of the above tale belong to Marvel, I ain't disputin' that for a second. This was written just to a) make people laugh, b) pass a slow Tuesday morning, and c) dodge my other writing responsibilities, but if anyone wants to archive it you know the drill: contact me first. Feedback is also appreciated, as always...