DISCLAIMER This is a break from the X-Entries to explore a day in the life of Charles Xavier, while being held captive by Bastion. It just kind of wrote itself, and has a few dark moments. Enjoy!!!! Best of luck, Lestat

Entry log: HS7G
Subject: Charles Francis Xavier
Status: Subject is asleep. REM movement approaching dream state. Conclusion: Subject is dreaming.

What is this?

A… a graveyard? The mansion! Yes, the mansion. But how can this be? Last I remember, I was in Bastion’s base, and I was taking an examination, in a constraption out of The Lawnmower Man. Now I’m outside, in the Mansion’s graveyard, in the sun? And the mansion is in one piece, and I can see in the distance a few of my students. So, how did I get here? And why are there so many ---tombstones---

I recognize a few: Thunderbird, Illyana Rasputin, Warlock, Doug Ramsey. But there are so many more, and they seem to be adding more all the time. All around me, tombstones, graves, and --- noise? My God, some graves are opening up!!!

No, no, this cannot be! This cannot be! A child, not much older than the one I just helped escape from Bastion, she comes towards me, and ---and her skin peels off. A bony hand stretches towards me, imploring me to--- to get away from her?

Suddenly, the grounds open, and I’m swallowed by the earth. Skeletons stand and dance around me, a mad dance of anger and hatred. The X-Men are above me, and they look down with sadness, and depression. And suddenly I realize, I’ve been waking all along!! But that doesn’t soothe their sadness, of the deafening cries of the dead.

"Murderer! Liar! Killer! MURDERER!!!!"

All around me, endless skeletons, as far as the eye can see. One of them punches me, and I fall, only to land in a pool of blood.

"By God, Scott! Jean! Remy! Warren! It’s me, Charles!!! Help me!! I beg you!"

And I can’t believe their reaction, nor the person to come forward. It’s Bishop, and he spits on me, and as the others walk away, I hear the black man’s voice

"You weren’t worthy of the dream"

Nooo! Don’t leave me to them! Don’t leave me alone.

Then darkness.

- - - - - - - - - - -

And as suddenly as it all began, it ends. Suddenly I’m sitting in my hoverchair (by God, does it feel comfortable, after so long), in front of a grave. It’s about ten feet from me, but the letters are obscured by layers upon layers of dirt.

I scrub away, somehow I know this must be the answer to this madness. I scrub away, with my bare hands, until my skin is red and raw. And I see, finally, to whom belongs this tombstone.

"Here lies Charles Francis Xavier. Killed by Onslaught. He didn’t dream hard enough."

A mad laughter comes from my throat, and I keep chuckling, as I realize it’s true. I failed them, my students, the world, the whole cause of mutants. I failed them. A nice "professor" I turned out to be. God damn me, I failed them. Onslaught did kill me.

And the sound of my laughter keeps going and going

So this is what being mad means. Curious

- - - - - - -

"… for a minute there., I was afraid we were going to lose him, you know."

What’s this now? Finally I crawl out of the darkness. I hear her voice again, the psychiatrist Bastion brought to examine me.

"Doctor Xavier, you were having a nightmare. How do you feel now?"

"I’m awake?"

"Yes, you are. How do you feel, doctor? Your vital sings readings had us worried for a minute"

"I feel ---better, Doctor. Thank you for your concern."

I’m not that good a liar, for I know full well that when confronting dream vs reality, I can’t tell which one is worse.