DISCLAIMER: Remy belongs to me and Cat. Alright, he belongs to Marvel, along with the rest of the X-Men. (But we wish he was ours.)
(It's morning. Everyone is in the kitchen while Remy is spewing his poor little heart out in the garbage while everyone watches)
Remy:*HRRRRRH*! Oh, merde......
Jean:Hey, is that a chessy poof?
Jubilee:No, it's a veal roll-up!
Rogue:Oh, Remy, my poor little dear. Are you okay? (Remy barfs on Rogue) YOU LITTLE (beep)! I'M GONNA KICK YOU IN THE........
Logan:Ahhhh, let the Gumbo die in peace.
Hank:Ummmm, Remy, have you gained weight?
Remy:Five pounds! Sue me!(Gets handed a million orders to be in court.) IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEACH!!!!!!
Hank:(Alarmed)Five pounds!!!!!! To the Test-Mobile!!!!(Cue Batman song from the '70's!)
(At the Test Mobi...-um, Lab)
Hank:Robin.....I mean Remy, I found out what has caused your morning sickness. You're gonna be a daddy. Or is that a Mommy? (Ponders it until Remy faints.) Oh, that's gotta hurt.
Remy:No, no dis is a joke. I got de flu, right Hank? (Get's no answer and panics) Hank? Mon ami? (Answers by holding up a tube filled with blue liquid.) Oh, merde! Who's is it?
Hank:It's Rogue's and it was put there by Sinister.
Remy:How do you know?( Hank peels off a sign off Remy's back that says....
I made you pregnant,Remy:Wow, so little words. Um, Hank. How's de kid supposed to get out?
It's Rogue's.
Ha, ha!
Later,
Sinister.)
Hank:Um, do you really want to know? (Remy gasps and cups himself.)
Remy:No. NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (Remy faints.)
Hank: (Panics) Of course we could do a C-section! Remy!!!!!!
(Enter Rogue's room. Remy and Rogue are sitting down on her bed. Remy's trying to break the news.)
Remy:Um, Rogue, um soon, um, you're gonna get, um, ah, a present...
Rogue:OH! Are you gonna ask me to marry you!?! Oh, Ah'm so happy.
Remy:No, dat's not it.
Rogue:But Gambit's Angel's writtin' this story. We always get married and live happy when she writes.
Remy:Not if Cat and Crystal has anyt'in' to do wit' it. Where was I? oh, yeah. Um, the present will make you happy.....dere's a hint...I t'ink.....
Rogue:SPILL IT CAJUN!!!!!!!!!!!(hold up her fist.)
Remy:(Very fast and panicy)I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR KID!!!!!!!!!!!(Faints)
Rogue:YOU'RE WHAT!?!(Rogue thinks and turns smug.)You don't know it's mine. It could be Jean's. Remember 'More than Friends'?
Hank:On contrary, it's yours.
Rogue:Um, Hank.
Hank:Yes Rogue?
Rogue:(Wispers)How did you all get here?
Hank:(Frightened) I......don't....know.(Hugs Rogue for protection)
(Five months later. Remy's as big a a house)
Rogue:Sugah, that's the fifth gallon of ice cream you ate today.
Remy:(Finishing off the carton) I know, is dere any more?
Rogue:Hon, are you sure you're not havin' twins?
Remy:Nope. (Rogue sighs) Six. (She faints.)
Scott: What is this? "More the Merrier?" And Remy, you are all the Coco Krispies and Granola.
Remy:(Staring at Scott's stomach) Hey, Scottie! Scott: This isn't Rocky Horror Remy!
Remy:I know, but have you been gainin' weight?
(Five minutes later)
Scott: Great! Now I'm pregnant!
Remy:Join the club. ( Flips him a "M.I.P" card. (Men in Pregnacy)
Scott: Man, do I feel special!
Remy: I know.
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