Special thanks goes to my husband, Todd, for suggesting the title to this story.
X-S (Or Growing Up X)
You Can't Teach A New Dog, Old Tricks
By Darqstar



"Owwwwwwww Owwwwwwwwww!"

Blizzard was not a happy puppy. The most important person in the world, his beloved mistress had again been swallowed up by the big, yellow monster that roared up to the front of the mansion almost every morning. He wanted to stop the monster from taking Mistress, but no one would help him. None of the two-legs in this mansion seemed to understand the danger of this horrid beast, not even the two-leg who found him, who was usually as good as his mistress at understanding him. No, instead the two-legs all gathered around her, and hugged her, they sniffed her, they made the funny faces, which Blizzard realized meant they were happy, and sent her, out to face that horrible yellow monster. Worse than that, his beloved mistress usually made those funny faces herself, as she ran to be eaten.

So far, Mistress had been lucky. Every afternoon the same monster returned and spit her out. That must be why all the two-legs were not worried, but that did not mean someday the monster would forget. Then he, Blizzard, would never see his Mistress again. The two-legs would no longer make the funny-happy faces, because who could be happy if Mistress were not around? He wanted the two-legs to understand, so every morning when the monster came, he howled. And he continued to howl until one of the two-legs would finally come over and pay attention to him. Besides the fact that Mistress might be gone forever, Blizzard might be alone. He wanted to be faithful to Mistress, she was so wonderful to him, but he had to make sure that should she not show up, he, Blizzard would be fed. None of the two-legs liked to be with him if he was howling. So, he would howl until one of them decided to let Blizzard stay with them. Even then, he would not be completely happy until the monster came back to let Mistress escape.

Today though, so far, no one was coming for him. No one was going to try to make him feel better. That made him even sadder, and when he was sad, he wanted to howl too.

"Owwwwwwwwww Owwwwww Owwwwwwww!"


Hank?

Hank paused in his research when he heard Charles speaking in his mind. Yes, Professor?

Blizzard is howling.

Hank sighed. He always howls when Siku leaves for school. Usually Logan or someone plays with him until he calms down.

Hank, Logan is not here. None of the X-Men are here but me and you. Kelsey is at work, Sikudhani and Cameron are at school, and Rachel and Jean are out shopping. There is no one here to play with him.

Hank could hear the exasperation in Charles' mental "voice." I know that. But what am I supposed to do?

Get up here and shut this damned dog up!

Hank put aside his work and let out an exasperated sighed. "Most powerful mind in the world and he can't make a puppy be quiet," he muttered, rising from his stool.

He is your daughter's dog; therefore, he is your responsibility. Besides, I am a mutant, not Dr. Dolittle.

I am on my way!

 


"Rooooowwwwwww! Ooowww! Owwwww! Oooooooowwwwwww!"

"Blizzard!"

Blizzard turned to look. It was the big, furry two-legs, the one that Mistress adored so much. Blizzard sometimes suspected she even adored this two-leg more than she did him, if such a thing was possible. Blizzard wasn't too sure about him. He seemed nice, but the first time he and Blizzard had met, before Blizzard even had a chance to give him a good sniff, Big-Furry Two-Legs had whisked him down to this awful place, with terrible smells and poked and prodded him. Fortunately, he had only done that to him once, but now, sometimes he took him to another place that was even worse than the first awful place, a place that smelled like hurt and scared animals. In the worse place there were two-legs who would stick prickly things into him, or poke and prod him worse than Big-Furry Two-Leg had. Mistress always came along with him to the worse place, but Blizzard wasn't a dumbdog, (despite what some of the two-legs said about him) he knew that it was all Big-Fury's idea. Mistress would never bring him to such a horrible place. Mistress always wore a worry-face at the worse place. Obviously, Big-Furry forced her to take him there.

"Blizzard, you and I have to have a little talk."

Blizzard eyed Big-Furry cautiously. He did not understand the noises that came out of his mouth, but he knew the tone was not nice at all. Maybe Big-Furry was going to take him to the awful place! Panicking, he yipped and ran under a table, peeing all over the floor. Uh oh, he was in trouble now. He wasn't supposed to pee on the floor, only outside. He was in real trouble now. He whimpered.


Hank groaned, noticing the puddle on the floor. Blizzard never broke his training, unless he was nervous or scared. "Blizzard," he called, keeping his voice gentle. "Blizzard, come on out."

Blizzard whimpered in reply and tried to get further under the table, a difficult feat since he was already pressed up against a wall.

Hank felt sorry for the poor animal. All Blizzard had been doing was crying for his mistress, and Hank had obviously scared him. He got down on the floor and began talking to the dog, as gently as possible, also being careful not to let any of Blizzard's little "present" touch him.

He was able to coax Blizzard out and clean up the floor.


Blizzard, being a rather forgiving sort, soon got over his fear and ran around happily, while Big-Furry cleaned the floor. Big-Furry had not even yelled at him for peeing on the floor. Big-Furry must realize he did not mean to do it. Big-Furry was okay after all. Big-Furry would stay with him and play with him, until the monster came and spit up Mistress. For right now, life was pretty good.


When the floor was clean again, Hank sat back down on the kitchen floor. Blizzard immediately began leaping around, trying to lick his face. Hank pushed him away. "Blizzard, stop that!"

Blizzard stopped and looked at him, his deep brown eyes looking like they held all the pain in the world in them. He sat down in front of Hank, meekly, as if expecting Hank to strike him.

"It's all right, Blizzard, I'm not going to hurt you. But you have to understand something. Siku's at school. She goes to school Monday through Friday. I know you miss her, I know you are lonely, but she has to go to school, it is the law. And you are going to have to get used to this arrangement and discontinue with this howling. It will not bring her back any faster. Do you understand?"


Blizzard didn’t understand the words' coming out of Big-Fury's mouth, but he knew Big-Furry was, in his own way, trying to make him feel better. To let him know it was working, Blizzard wagged his tail and let out a couple yips.


"Now, Blizzard, it's hardly polite to bark when I'm having a discussion about the noise you make," Hank said, scratching him behind the ears. "However, perhaps you were just agreeing with me." He rose to his feet. "Now, if you don't mind, I shall leave you and return to my lab. I have work to do. You be a good dog, and Siku will be home…" he paused to look at the clock, "…in five hours."

He rose, patting Blizzard's head one last time and started towards the basement.


Oh, Big-Furry wanted to go someplace! If Blizzard was lucky, maybe Big-Furry wanted to go for a walk! They could go outside, where Blizzard could run and bark and sniff to his heart's content. He loved the outside; he loved to go for walks. Unable to contain himself, Blizzard leaped about, running circles around Big-Furry.


"Blizzard!" Hank shouted, as the young dog danced around his feet, "stop this now!"

Blizzard stopped and looked at him. "Woof!"

"No barking!"

"Woof!"

"Blizzard, please! Be quiet!" Hank glared down at the dog. "I told you, I have work I must do. You cannot come with me. I cannot have dog hair contaminating my samples. You must stay here and you must be quiet!"

Blizzard's head drooped and he looked positively miserable. Hank felt sorry for him, but didn't know what else to do. Maybe now he would be quiet.


Big-Furry was mad again. Big-Furry was leaving, going downstairs where the first awful place was. This was not fair! He was leaving Blizzard, leaving him all alone.

He watched the door shut, and waited, waited for Big-Furry to realize his mistake and return to play with Blizzard. When a long time passed without Big-Furry showing up again, Blizzard sat down and again began to howl.


Hank!

There was nothing gentle about Charles' mental "voice" at this moment. Hank almost dropped the samples he was transferring from the refrigerator. What?

I thought I told you to silence Siku's dog!

I did! Hank fumbled, placing the Petri dishes on the counter.

Well, he is howling again. Please take care of the problem immediately.

Hank sighed. Charles, he is just lonely.

I do not care.

He just wants to be with people.

Not my problem.

Charles, I cannot allow him down here with me.

Again, not my problem. Please come up here and silence this dog. And this time, make sure he stays quiet.

Hank looked longingly at the Petri dishes and his microscope. He wanted nothing more than to spend the day down here, emerged in his research. Charles, is there any chance you could just allow him to-

No.

-spend a little time with you?

No.

Just until he falls asleep? He is a puppy; it won't take long!

NO!

Hank never knew a mental "voice" could hurt his ears. Sighing, he started putting the samples back into the refrigerator.


"Rowwwwww Rowwww Yowwwwww!"

"Blizzard!"

Blizzard stopped. Big-Furry was back! He must care after all. He must have realized how lonely Blizzard was and come back to be with him. Maybe even take him for a walk! Blizzard ran over and began jumping all over him, trying to show Big-Furry how much it meant to him that he had returned.


Hank talked to Blizzard a bit sterner this time, explained to him in exact detail how important it was for Blizzard to keep quiet. Blizzard responded by only wagging the tip of his tail, and looking guilty. Certainly, the dog understood this time, how important it was that he did not bark anymore. Hank scolded him one last time, then went back to the basement.


Blizzard watched as Big-Furry left again, his head tipped to one side. He could not believe this; Big-Furry must be a dumbdog. Didn't he see that Blizzard was lonely? He finally showed up, only to make mad noises then leave him again? Big-Furry wasn't just a dumbdog he was worse; he was a baddog! Nothing was worse than a baddog.

Still lonely, and now more upset than ever, Blizzard raised his nose to the ceiling and began howling.


Hank had not even made it to the lab when he heard Charles. Hank?

"I'm coming!" Hank shouted and started back up the stairs.


Well, this was better; at least Big-Furry returned faster this time. There might be some hope for him yet.

Always willing to give a two-legs a break, even a two-legs who was obviously a dumbdog, Blizzard ran to Big-Furry, jumping up and down, showing how his pleasure at his return. Blizzard was not stupid, you had to let these two-legs know when you were happy with them, otherwise, they did not learn.


Hank squatted down beside the dog and sighed. "Blizzard, I don't know what to do anymore. I want to do some research, Charles is trying to work in his office, and all you want to do is howl. Isn't there any way for me to get through to you that you cannot howl. Howling isn't going to bring Siku back any faster, all it is going to do is get Charles and myself more and more upset."

Blizzard wagged his tail so frantically that his whole body shook. He rose on his hind legs and tried to lick Hank's face. When Hank held up his hands to stop him, the dog happily licked his hand instead. What am I going to do? he thought. I have to somehow get this dog to understand that just because he is alone, does not mean he can howl. I must make him understand that there will be plenty of times when he will be alone. Yet that does not mean he can raise the roof. But how do I do this?

Hank hadn't had much experiences with dogs in his life, but he knew that with time and the right information, they could be trained to do many things. Blizzard may be a garden-variety mutt, but he was not stupid. There had to be a way to train him, Hank just had to find the right material.

He stood up. "Blizzard, would you like to go for a walk?"


Blizzard's eyes lit up. Walk! Big-Furry said, walk! Ohboyohboyohboy! Nothing was better than a walk! Blizzard was so happy he began dancing around, Big-Furry. He even ran to the closet where the leash was. Blizzard didn't like the leash, but he knew the rules, no leash, no walk.


Hank walked with Blizzard to the town library. Blizzard, for the most part, was well behaved, only trying to take his arm off three or four times because he saw a squirrel or something else that he wanted to chase.

When they got to the library, Hank tied the dog to the bicycle rack. "Don't worry, Blizzard," he assured the animal. "I won't be gone but a quarter-hour at most. I just need to get a few books." He patted the dog on the head and went inside.


Wait a second… what was this? Blizzard whimpered as he watched Big-Furry walk into the strange building. No, no, no! This was not supposed to happen. When Blizzard went for a walk with someone, that someone was supposed to stay with him! Here Blizzard thought he was making progress with Big-Furry and look what happened! Boy, Big-Furry was more than a baddog; he was a verybaddog! Blizzard, though, was a gooddog. He would give Big-Furry a chance. He would wait quietly for a long time to see if Big-Furry would return and apologize for his horrible error.

Blizzard stretched out on the grass to wait. It was a nice, sunny day. He wished Mistress had not been eaten by the monster this morning; it would have been a perfect day to play with her. Too bad he was stuck with Big-Furry.

He leaped to his feet when a butterfly fluttered past him, trying madly to catch the butterfly. It got away. Disappointed, he decided to pee on the funny metal thing that he was tied to. The funny metal thing had the wonderful smells of young two-legs on it, but he peed on it anyway. Now the boys and girls would know he had been here. Maybe they would come to where the Mistress lived and they could all play together.

After he peed on the bicycle rack, he nosed the ground some more, and then he sat down and had himself a good scratch. Then he remembered, he was suppose to be very mad at Big-Furry. It had been a long time since Big-Furry had gone into the building. It was time to let him know that Blizzard was not happy.


"Rooooooowwwwwww Owwwwwwww Owwwwwwww!

"What was that!" The assistant librarian called out, forgetting for a moment where she was.

"Hush!" the older, wiser, librarian shushed her. "It's just a dog. Hopefully, the owner will silence it soon."

"Roooooooooooooo!"

"I hope so," the assistant librarian said, quieter this time. "He's making enough noise to raise the dead!

Rooooooowwwww! Oooo oooooo oooooooooo!

Hank sighed. He had not been in here ten minutes. What was wrong with that dog? Fortunately though, he was almost finished. He carried the stack of books he had selected up to the counter to check them out.

"Rooooooowwwww owwww oooooowww!"

"You wouldn't happen to know who owns that poor dog?" the head librarian asked as she scanned the books.

"I have no idea," Hank lied.


Blizzard stood up as Big-Furry came out the door. Oh, this was good; this was very good! Big-Furry realized his mistake after all, and came back. Just to make sure Big-Furry knew how please Blizzard was, when he came near, Blizzard leaped up in the air. Sure, he knocked all the square things Big-Furry was holding to the ground, but that was okay. Big-Furry could pick them up. The important thing was for Big-Furry to know he had done good. Real good.


It was not easy getting home with both Blizzard and the books, but somehow, Hank managed. When they got to the mansion, Hank didn't even bother to go to the lab. There was no way Blizzard would stop howling if he left, so instead, he went into the rec. room, and piled the books onto the coffee table. Every single one of them was on the subject of training dogs. "Blizzard, in one of these must to be the key to stopping your behavior. All I have to do is find it." He sat down on the couch and began looking them over.

Blizzard leaped up on the couch and licked his face.


Okay, so Big-Furry was more interested in the square things than he was in Blizzard, but things could be worse. At least he wasn't leaving Blizzard alone. It would be better if he would play with Blizzard, but the dog understood that progress came slowly. For now, Blizzard would let him look through the square things, as long as he did not try to leave him.

Just to make sure Big-Furry understood that Blizzard thought he was good, Blizzard stayed right close by and licked his face every once in awhile. Two-legs were not so hard to understand after all, even the ones that were not Mistress.


When Siku returned home from school, she found her father and her dog on the couch in the rec. room, both sleeping. The couch and the coffee table were covered with books. She picked one up and looked at the title, No Bad Dogs. She picked up another called, Training Your Dog The Right Way. "What in the world is going on here?" she murmured.

Blizzard woke up at the sound of her voice and immediately leaped off the couch and ran over to her, dancing around her, showing his excitement at her return. Siku knelt on the ground and hugged him.

"Good to see you, Blizzard. Did you miss me?"

"Yip!"

"I take it that means, yes." Siku grinned and hugged the dog again. She looked over at her dad, who had woken up when Blizzard yipped. "Hi, Dad."

"Hello, Sunshine," Hank smiled at his daughter. "How was school?"

Siku shrugged, indicating it was neither good nor bad. "It was school. Uh, Dad, what's with all the books?"

"Your dog-" he paused to glare at Blizzard, "-would not be quiet."

"He gets lonely," Siku reminded him. "He's just a baby."

"I know that, Sunshine," Hank said. "But he still must learn. I wanted to do some work in the lab today, and I could not. Every time I left him alone, he would start barking. I tried to explain to him why he should not do that, but I did not get very far. Finally, I decided to consult some experts, to see if they had any advice." He held up the book he had been reading, Understanding Your Dog's Behavior, as an example.

"Uh huh." Siku tipped her head to one side and studied her father. "Do they have any answers?"

"I haven't found any yet," Hank admitted. "But I'm certain, that eventually, I will."

"And in the meantime, you spent the whole day with Blizzard, right?"

"Of course," Hank said, puzzled. "I had to. Every time I would leave him for more than a minute, he would howl."

"And you would come back?"

"Yes."

Siku chuckled. "That was just what he wanted, you realize that, don't you, Dad?"

"Well, of course." Hank frowned. "Sunshine, is there a point to this line of questioning that I am missing?"

"Well, it sort-of has me wondering; who was training who today?"

Hank stopped for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Sunshine, you're right. I set out to train your dog, and it seems that your dog decided to train me instead.


Life was good! The moster had brough back Mistress, Big-Furry was smiling, everything was all right. No, life was better than good, life was great. Once again, Blizzard was a happy dog, and he knew this happiness would last forever…

Or at least until tomorrow.

The End.


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